


There Are No Miracles (Only Your Own)

by Alice_h



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora has anxiety, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Micah being an amazing dad, Mind Manipulation, Minor Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Other Princesses will appear eventually, Rescued Kids, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:42:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24109909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_h/pseuds/Alice_h
Summary: After being rescued from the Fright Zone when they were young, Adora and Catra are now young teens growing up in Bright Moon, treated as the Princesses they were once taught to fear. Life is a far cry from the childhood they could have had – a safe home, caring adoptive parents and a decent education – though they all have their own insecurities: Adora is the gifted child with bad anxiety, Catra the moody teenager who fights her feelings of inferiority with attitude and Glimmer the rebellious kid who fears she can't measure up to the standards the new arrivals have set.When Adora's true identity as She-Ra is revealed, it sends shockwaves through the trio. Though Angella tries to protect her from the power and responsibility she isn't ready for, Adora's self-doubt makes her wish she'd never set eyes on the sword. Catra's jealousy builds - and that gives Shadow Weaver the opportunity to drive a wedge between them and bring She-Ra back under her control.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 204
Kudos: 364





	1. Prologue: The Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on an idea from Starke5900 about Micah rescuing the kids and adopting them, which I've adapted into something slightly different (though many ideas may pop in!). I've got plenty of ideas sketched out though, so we're in for a fun ride!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this prologue to the main story, we see the tale of how the two kids were rescued and introduced to Bright Moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love starting a new fic, especially one where I can just go with the flow and see what I feel like writing into it! This won't be all sweetness and light along the way, but certainly not anywhere near as dark as You Can Run. I hope you all enjoy :)

**8 Years Ago**

Catra seemed to be almost flying as she jumped from boxes to pipes to bare concrete floor, even swinging from some wires that had fallen free of their ceiling mount. Her athleticism, despite being so young, was impressive, and though Adora was able to match her pace as they ran, she wasn’t quite able to pull in front.

“You’re slow, Adora!”

“Am not!” the gentle teasing appeared to have given Adora an extra burst of energy. Their destination was a small closet on the other side of the Fright Zone from their dorm where they had hidden some extra ration bars for themselves, and the first one there got first pick. Races such as these weren’t uncommon for the two kids – their home, being built solely to train soldiers, had almost nothing in the way of activities for a couple of six-year-olds, and over the years, Catra and Adora had come up with dozens of little games to pass the time.

Adora pushed on, sprinting as fast as she could, finally taking the lead as the two girls rounded a corner into a brightly lit corridor. She ignored Catra’s grumbling, slowing herself for just long enough to stick her tongue out at her friend before powering forward. Though she was beginning to feel a little fatigue, the promise of getting the single grey ration bar they had stashed away was more than enough encouragement to persevere. Readying a playful taunt for her friend, she glanced back, slowing to a halt when she noticed Catra stood, motionless, in front of a door that was slightly ajar.

“Why did you stop?”

A little smirk grew across her face, “I found a shortcut.”

“Shortcut?” Adora cautiously made her way back towards where Catra was stood, half-expecting this to be a sneaky trick to get her to give up her lead. She peered through the gap between the door and its frame, gasping when she realised what the vast space inside was, “Catra, that’s the prison – we can’t go in there.”

Catra fixed her gaze into Adora’s, and with a defiant look upon her face, swatted at the door to open it a little further, “Wanna bet?”

“That wasn’t what I meant! We’re not _allowed_. You know they keep murderers and Princesses in there?”

“You’re just scared, Adora!” Catra’s tongue impishly poked out from her mouth, “Scaredy-cat Adora!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am _not_!”

“Prove it then.”

In spite of her protests, Adora was absolutely terrified. She’d heard stories of the sorts of criminals that the Horde locked up – killers, violent psychopaths, unstable Princesses and even people who had done things so horrible that Shadow Weaver wouldn’t even tell her about it. The risk was immense – if the security failed and released them all, she and Catra would probably die within minutes. And even if it didn’t, they would be walking right past the cells where the inmates would be trying to shout and frighten her.

“N… no, we have to go the other way,” she was already starting to tremble with the fear and backed away, hoping that the other girl would do the same once she realised Adora wasn't going to enter. Catra, however, simply shrugged and then moved into the room, letting the door close behind her. A wave of worry for her best friend swamped Adora, and she leapt to action, jamming her foot in the doorway before it could shut fully. Walking through the Fright Zone prison was a scary prospect but leaving Catra alone in there was worse.

Adora’s nervous heart thumped inside her chest, and she could feel the adrenalin reaching every part of her body, from her uneasy core to the ends of her shaking hands. She ran to catch up with Catra, not daring to lift her head from the floor lest she catch the eye of some maniacal Rebellion leader. As she hurried, she studied the grey concrete of the floor to distract herself, noting the lines where different sections had joined, the little uneven parts and patches, the stains which she had to tell herself weren’t blood. Being so wrapped up in her intense examination of the floor, Adora didn’t notice that she’d caught up to Catra, letting out a loud scream when the two of them collided and they both fell to the ground.

“Owwww!” Catra held her knee up to her chest, almost matching Adora’s level of panic when she spotted a drop of blood emerging from a graze, “Adora! I’m bleeding, help!”

The blonde girl sat frozen with her eyes wide, “I don’t know what to do! Should I get someone?”

“No, just make it better! Quickly!” she was trying her best not to burst into tears, but the combination of the pain she was in and the prospect of the punishment she would get for being somewhere she shouldn’t be was rapidly overwhelming her.

“Catra, I don’t…”

A voice from behind them startled them both, the shock temporary interrupting Catra’s crying, “I can help if you let me.”

Standing at the very limit of his cell, a slightly dishevelled man with a beard and dark hair tied back in a bun looked back at them. From the look of his mauve and purple clothing, he was part of the Rebellion – those were the types of colours that Princesses and their brainwashed followers wore. The two girls stared at him, remaining static, both afraid to engage in any sort of conversation. He quickly picked up on their apprehension and tried to reassure them by opening his arms to show that he wasn’t a threat and giving a warm smile.

“My name is Micah. I gather you’re Adora and Catra, yes?”

Catra nodded, her voice only able to come out as an anxious squeak. She received a nudge from Adora’s elbow, an angry glare accompanying it to remind her not to talk to the prisoners.

“I’ve got a little girl about your age, she’s called Glimmer. Sometimes she gets hurt too, but I know a spell that can make it better, if you’ll let me out? I promise I won’t hurt you; I just want to get back to my daughter.”

“Adora, please?” Catra’s tear-lined eyes widened in a pleading look that she was never able to resist turning down. The feline always had this remarkable talent to soften her normally forthright and fearless personality, making what Adora called her ‘sad kitten face’, and she usually couldn’t say no. This time, however, something beyond her control made the decision for her.

“You need to put in a code,” she gently stroked down Catra’s arm, thankful that she had a reason to stop her releasing what could be a violent prisoner, “We don’t know what it is.”

“I do. I saw Octavia put it in at the armoury and they use the same code for everything,” she sniffled, carefully attempting to stand up without hurting her knee any further, "I remembered what it was."

Adora wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her back as she walked towards the cell. She hated to remind Catra of the consequences, and it hurt to think about them herself, but she didn’t want either of them to be put in harm’s way, “Shadow Weaver will find out and she’ll hurt you. Please don’t do it...”

“Shadow Weaver will do _what?_ ” Micah gasped, his need to escape taking a momentary back seat in the face of hearing what his old teacher was doing to the innocent young children stood in front him.

“She… she’ll punish us for being in here,” Adora stuttered, immediately hating herself for getting drawn into the conversation. She wasn’t even supposed to be in here, let alone talking to a prisoner, "We should just go."

Catra huffed, “No, she’ll punish _me_ , Adora. You’re her favourite, the worst she’ll do to you is make you watch.”

The more Micah listened to the two kids talking about Shadow Weaver, the more horrified he became. It felt like an entirely different lifetime when the woman – Light Spinner back then – was his teacher in Mystacor, and though she was rather strict and demanding, she was never horrible to him or his fellow students. The worst he had ever suffered was a light slap on the wrist when he’d conjured a light illusion to buzz around her head, just as a joke, so to hear what Catra and Adora told him, and what he could infer from their words, was almost disturbing. There was no way he could, with a clear conscience, let them suffer at her hands.

“Come with me. Let me out of here and I will take you back home, away from Shadow Weaver. You can live with me, learn sorcery, and play with Glimmer. I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to either of you, not anymore.”

The reaction was split. Adora only seemed to become more uneasy as the idea of running away from the Fright Zone piled on top of the mountain of other worries over what they were doing. This was her home, she belonged here with Catra and Lonnie and the other cadets, and she couldn’t just run off with some stranger they had let out of the prison. It could be a trap, the lies of an unstable killer desperate for more victims or the brainwashed toy of a Princess, conditioned to lure innocent kids back to her where they’d be put into slavery.

Catra, by contrast, was engulfed by a feeling that she couldn’t ever remember experiencing before: hope. There seemed to be no downside to opening the cell – if Micah was telling the truth, she had the opportunity to have a childhood away from Shadow Weaver; if he was lying, and using her to escape, then it would be punishment as usual. Nothing she hadn’t been through hundreds of times. But if she did nothing, staying here in this life of being treated as an inconvenience was guaranteed.

“No, Catra!” Adora’s voice failed to even make her reconsider reaching her arm towards the keypad. She typed in the number, and the green force-field that contained the prisoner dissipated, allowing him to step into the corridor, letting out a relieved sigh at his new-found freedom.

“I hope you two are ready to run.”

* * *

“Well keep looking, then!” a distraught Queen Angella snapped at her general. It had been three days since her husband had vanished whilst helping the village of Elberon to strengthen their defences against Horde attacks, and the longer she went without any trace of him, the more her stress levels rose. If Micah had been taken by the Horde, there was no telling what horrors they would inflict upon him to drag the Rebellion’s plans from him before taking him out. It was the worst possibilities that she was ruminating on, of course, but with every passing second those situations became more likely.

Rapid footsteps rescued her from her thoughts, and she fixed her eyes towards the door where one of her royal guards was sprinting into the room, clearly out of breath and with a red face just visible underneath the helmet, “Your majesty… it’s…”

A silhouette appeared in the doorway, casting a shadow over the guard for a moment before passing by into the room. Angella sprang up from her throne, soaring into the air to fly the short distance to him and enveloping the visitor in her arms, “Micah, you’re home! I was so worried…”

“I missed you too, Angie,” he grinned. His words belied the depth of relief that he felt – hours before, he had been resigned to never seeing his wife or daughter again, yet now he was home, thanks to the kindness of the two youngsters who had freed him, “The Horde captured me and imprisoned me, but I got out. There is… something I need to tell you though…”

He stepped to his right, allowing Angella to see two young children stood behind. A blonde girl, with her hair tied back in a loose ponytail was timidly clutching onto the arm of a slightly shorter girl with a wild mess of dark hair and remarkable heterochrome eyes. Those eyes stared at her with equal parts wonder and fear, and her face smiled back warmly.

“Micah?”

The king lowered his head guiltily, rubbing down the back of his hair as he tried to work out how to explain, “This is Catra and Adora, they helped me escape and, uh… I brought them back to live here with Glimmer.”

“You… YOU STOLE SOME CHILDREN?!” her raised voice made both the girls jump, Adora unable to stop herself screaming out. Remorseful, Angella held her hands up and whispered an apology to them before addressing her husband again, “You can’t just go… _taking_ children. What about their parents?”

“They don’t… Ange, if you knew what they’ve had to suffer. Light Spinner, she… she hurts them, and I couldn’t just leave them behind at her mercy.”

Angella was at a loss for words to react, only able to give an exasperated sigh, “We’re not having this discussion in front of everyone. Guard, please take the children to Princess Glimmer. Everyone else, out.”

The grip Adora held on Catra’s arm tightened, whilst her breathing became rapid and erratic, as though she were about to cry, “I don’t like this, Catra, I don’t like it. They are going to leave us alone with a Princess…”

“Shut up, Adora,” she dragged the girl behind her as they followed the guard out, “You’re making me worry too, so just stop talking, okay?”

The castle at Bright Moon was vastly different from their home in the Fright Zone. Instead of the dull, dark surroundings they were used to, bright, cheerful colours adorned the walls, whilst under their feet they stepped on soft carpeting rather than bare concrete. The building seemed just as infinite as the Horde complex, though the areas they made their way through seemed much more distinguishable than the identical corridors of home. After what seemed like an hour of walking to the two girls, they were ushered into a bedroom where a slightly younger girl in a purple dress, and sporting a mop of two-tone light pink and darker mauve hair, sat playing with some dolls.

“Is that the Princess? She's just a little kid,” Adora whispered, still trying to hide behind Catra. Her voice was still, however, loud enough for their minder to hear.

“It is. Princess Glimmer! I have brought, uh… two new friends for you to play with.”

The girl looked up, eyes wide with awe, “New friends? You’re going to play?”

Catra and Adora shared a brief glance before the feline spoke up, “Y-yeah… you’re not going to hurt us, are you?”

“No,” to their astonishment, the Princess vanished into a small shower of sparkles, making them worry they had done something wrong. Catra surveyed the room to try and find out where she had gone to, but a sudden touch on her shoulder soon gave her the answer. The unexpected appearance of Glimmer so close behind her was a shock, and she instinctively lashed out with an arm at the invasion of her personal space. There was a tense silence for several seconds while the Princess stared at her, lip starting to quiver, then she erupted in a loud wail, dropping to her knees to cry.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Catra looked to Adora for support, but she had nothing to offer save for a look that said ‘what have you done’. She tried to extend an arm around the girl she had just hit, but Glimmer was in a full screaming tantrum by now, “Please, um, Glimmer? I didn’t mean to hit you.”

Moments later, alerted by the noise, Micah and Angella rushed into the room. While the King tended to his daughter, bringing her in tightly and whispering reassuringly into her ear, the Queen stood imposingly over the two girls, a firm stare piercing through them.

“What did you do?”

While Adora whimpered, terrified that either or both of them were about to be yelled at or worse, Catra found a little confidence, “I hit her. But I swear I didn’t mean to, honest. She just appeared there and scared me!”

Angella’s hand reached down towards her, Catra’s brain jumping to the worst memories of Shadow Weaver doing the same and making her flinch. But this touch was gentle – genuine, even – and though still apprehensive, she began to relax as the woman began to speak, “Glimmer’s teleporting can take a bit of getting used to, but it is not an excuse to hit. You need to be more careful not to hurt people, OK?”

“OK.”

“Good,” she took a step back to address both girls, “Now, King Micah and I have been talking, and we have decided that you’ll be staying here with us from now on. We’ll look after you alongside Princess Glimmer, so I hope you’ll be able to feel at home before long. Welcome to Bright Moon, Catra and Adora.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned in the summary, this isn't really part of the main story, but I thought it would be good to have a little bit of background. For all subsequent chapters, they're going to be about 13/14.


	2. Catra's Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After storming out from their evening meal, Catra makes an interesting discovery in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, eight years after the prologue, the main story commences!

**Present Day**

In the years since Micah had rescued them, life had transformed for Catra and Adora. Where once they had been destined to be soldiers churned through the Horde’s machinery like thousands of others, they were now Princesses of Bright Moon, living a life of privilege. Adjusting to their new home took time; Angella could recall dozens of occasions where she’d found Adora hiding in a dark corner, terrified to be around people, or the times where Catra had found castle life overwhelming and impulsively hit out. Slowly, however, the two girls became acclimatised to the total transformation of their existences, and started to relax into the new normal of being, at least unofficially, the Princesses they’d been taught to fear during their early years.

They had also grown closer to Glimmer, and the trio were now inseparable, spending the bulk of their free time together. From the fraught tension when Catra and Adora were first introduced to Bright Moon, a great love and trust had grown – the three of them against the world. Education was also an important part of their lives; after finding out that the Horde only taught fighting strategies, Micah hurried to get them into proper lessons with the teachers who lived in the castle. He also began teaching them sorcery alongside Glimmer, whose being the daughter of an expert sorcerer and an angelic being meant that, despite her slightly younger age, she was able to match the ability of the older children in their class.

As they had done every Friday night for a couple of years now, Angella and Micah gathered the girls for a meal together and a family activity night. It wasn’t something the Queen got to do regularly; running a kingdom fighting the Horde often meant lengthy briefings and all-nighters in the war room, so she always made sure to block off three hours on a Friday evening to spend time with everyone. She liked to make it a much more informal affair than the usual castle dinnertimes, giving the majority of the staff the night off so that she, Micah and the kids could be alone and speak more freely and personally with each other. The girls appreciated the relaxed atmosphere, Glimmer particularly enjoying the taste of how non-royal families might spend their time, whilst Catra and Adora, even after almost a decade of living in Bright Moon as unofficial Princesses, were still glad to feel so wanted.

The casual setting also allowed them to eschew their usual formal wear for something more comfortable. As usual, Catra opted for a black t-shirt adorned with the logo of some obscure band whilst Adora and Glimmer brought a little more colour to the table. The younger of the two sported a bright purple tank top and shorts that just about matched her hair, and Adora, prioritising her own comfort over everything, had on a long-sleeved white top, one of several that she kept in her wardrobe. They were cosy, and didn’t make her stand out, so it was much easier to have a few of them to take away the stress of wondering what to wear.

“Micah tells me you’re doing really well with your sorcery studies, Adora,” Angella paused with her fork hovering over her plate, “I’m proud of you, well done.”

“Oh, it’s, uh… I’m not _that_ good,” she played with the hair that covered over the right side of her face, pushing it away to briefly reveal her eye. It fell straight back into place the moment she looked down at her food, which, to her, was a much less terrifying prospect than making eye contact with the Queen, “I just… I just do my best.”

Micah leapt to her defence, extending an arm across the table to pat her forearm, “Don’t undersell yourself, Adora, you’re a gifted sorcerer. Maybe you should give Glimmer some lessons.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just playing, Glim,” he winked at his daughter, “You’re also _very_ gifted, my baby darling sparklecheeks.”

“Ha, sparklecheeks,” snorted Catra, somewhat louder than she meant to.

“Dad!” she protested, the smile on her face telling him she wasn’t genuinely annoyed, “Stop it! I’m not a baby anymore.”

“Yeah, you are. You’ll always be my baby, whether you’re 13 or 113.”

Glimmer retorted with a death stare that shut Micah down immediately. She had always had him wrapped around her little finger, right from the moment he’d first laid eyes on her and fallen in love with his baby daughter. As she’d grown and developed into her own person, Glimmer realised this and knew she could get away with so much more than with her mother; in return, Micah was always quick to defend her, even to Angella, and it was obvious how deeply they cared for each other. No-one could come between father and daughter.

“And Catra, how are you getting on with your studies?” the Queen turned to the dark-haired girl, who was racing through her dinner. It took a few moments to swallow the large mouthful of food she’d taken before she answered.

“Fine, I guess,” she shrugged indifferently, “I’m not a nerd like those two.”

Micah tried to rephrase her response with a bit more diplomacy, “Catra is coming along, I’d say, but she’s still finding a few things difficult.”

“Maybe Catra would ‘come along’ a bit faster if she paid more attention in class,” Angella said dryly. She had often peered into the room during their lessons to find the feline leant back on her chair examining her claws, or making idle doodles on the paper she should have been writing an essay on. What made it more disappointing was that she knew the girl to be smart – a very quick thinker when she applied herself, so it was a shame to see her wasting her talent.

Catra scoffed, rolling her eyes so far that her head tilted back with them, “Whatever…”

“You watch your tone when you’re talking to me, Catra!” Angella raised her voice to scold the girl, “Have some respect!”

Almost growling as she took a deep breath, Catra threw her cutlery onto the plate, scattering peas across the table, “YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”

Angella glared at her, pointing towards the door, “Go to your room!”

“GODS! I’M GOING! UGH!” an enraged Catra sprang to her feet, pushing her chair over to get it out of her way, then stomped away from the table. She slammed the door shut behind her so hard that it made Adora shudder, then grunted loudly in frustration.

“Fucking Angella telling me what to do,” she muttered angrily to herself, “I’m sorry I’m not good at geeky shit like Sparkles and Adora… don’t have to be a bitch about it.”

Catra had one foot on the bottom step of the staircase when a renewed wave of spite told her not to do what she’d been instructed. She was 14 years old – practically an adult – and if the Queen thought she could order her about like she was still 6, she couldn’t be more wrong. Angella wanted her to go to her bedroom? _Not happening._ Making an about turn, Catra headed away from the stairs and towards the front door, proudly raising her middle finger towards the closed door to the dining room as she defiantly stepped outside.

The evening air was beginning to turn chilly, but the heat from the day hung around enough for Catra not to need any extra layers to keep warm. She could see the darkness of night approaching far on the horizon, but it was eclipsed by a magnificent pink light refracted from the setting moons that bathed the landscape in an almost ethereal glow. Though her memories of the Fright Zone were fading, she could still recall the way it looked – angry, dark, dingy, shades of green everywhere; the more calming pastel hues of Bright Moon were a world away from her old home.

There was a place she kept to herself, a little clearing in the woods that she often visited when she needed to get away from people. She was glad that Micah had rescued her and Adora from the Horde, and would forever be grateful, but the life of a Princess had never fully sat right with her. Having the best of everything, being around people who would cater to her every whim and seeing people fawn over her like she was important – she felt as though she didn’t deserve it, and it was difficult to bear sometimes. Whenever those feelings got too much, Catra would head out into the forest to enjoy the silence of a place where she wasn’t the biggest disappointment of Bright Moon’s three Princesses. It was just her and the breeze rustling through the leaves.

At least it was usually. As she approached the clearing, a glow of blue light tarnished the pink moonset that peered through the trees, and Catra sighed dejectedly, disappointed that someone else had invaded her favourite spot. Maybe she would be able to scare them off – having sharp teeth and claws came in handy sometimes, and if she needed to get into a fight, no amount of Princess etiquette would stop her. Treading lightly to avoid detection, she crept up behind a fallen tree trunk, keeping her body as flat as she could and crouching with her legs set to spring into action. After adjusting her position a few times to get the best angle, she was ready to pounce.

In one quick motion, Catra flew several feet into the clearing, hissing loudly and baring her teeth, ready to clash with whoever had invaded her space. As she landed, she fell back into a confused silence; there was nobody there, but there was _something_.

“What the fuck…?” she whispered to herself, circling the source of the blue light suspiciously. In the very centre of the ground, a gnarled clutter of tree roots that hadn’t been there last time she came were wrapped around a sword. As she made a tentative step towards it, Catra could feel a strange type of energy radiating from the blade, a little like the magic she’d felt from her own hands on the rare occasion she’d managed to cast a spell in class, but immensely stronger.

She hovered an arm over the weapon, inquisitive yet afraid, the internal debate raging over whether she should touch it. A combination of reasoned logic and spontaneous compulsion won out, and with a deep breath, Catra gripped her hand around the hilt. A spark of electricity flashed through her, yet it wasn’t remotely painful; instead it gave her a momentary feeling of serenity before fizzling out. There was something powerful about this sword, with its immaculately detailed gold cross guard with an enthralling turquoise stone inset, and her thoughts immediately turned to using it to her advantage. It clearly had a lot of magic within, maybe she could find out how to take some of that and catch up with the others in her sorcery class.

“You’re coming home with me,” Catra pulled the sword easily from the makeshift stand. It was a little heavier than she had envisioned, but not so much that it would stop her taking it back to the castle. Her plan was to hide it away in her room, although she hadn’t thought much beyond that – presumably Adora or Glimmer would know how to use the magic inside, and they wouldn’t tell anyone else about it if she asked them.

She let her imagination run wild on the walk back home, dreaming of the leap she might make with her education. It wasn’t that Catra wanted to be top of the class – there was little attraction in continually being singled out and paraded around as a genius – but maybe with a little boost in magic, she’d finally be able to get the hang of more basic spells. King Micah was an excellent teacher, no doubt about that, but she just wasn’t gifted in the same way as Adora. She’d tried for so long, barely able to pull off the most basic of light illusions, that it just wasn’t worth the effort anymore. But with an object that was bristling with pure magical energy in her possession, the potential to improve just enough to stop feeling like a total failure was a real possibility.

Thanks to Angella giving most of them the night off as usual, there were few guards for Catra to sneak past upon arrival back at the castle. Being effectively royalty, she was reasonably sure that she wouldn’t be challenged as to why she was carrying a sword, but being seen carried a risk that word would make its way back to the King and Queen. And that would inevitably lead to annoying questions: W _hat were you doing with a weapon, Catra? Who gave you permission to keep that in your room, Catra? Why are you such a disappointment, Catra?_ She didn’t have the patience to deal with that.

Distracting the guards was almost too easy - a small rock thrown at the side of the castle got them both rushing away from their post at the main door, allowing her to slip inside unnoticed. She remained vigilant as she headed up to her bedroom, though the castle was practically empty, and she could simply walk up the stairs and along the corridor as normal. Another quick check around outside her bedroom reassured her she wasn’t being watched, and then a push of the door would see her home and-

“What’cha got there, Catra?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Catra's got a bit of explaining to do


	3. The Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls find out some surprising things about Catra's discovery

“Fuck, Glimmer, you scared me. What are you doing in my room?”

The younger Princess raised an eyebrow, standing back to let Catra in, then shutting the door behind them both. She was already suspicious after finding the room empty, and the fact that she had walked back in holding a sword only added to that, “Mum told you to go here, so I was going to come talk to you. But forget that… Why do you have a sword?”

“Found it,” Catra shrugged, not wanting to give too much away about its origins. The clearing in the wood was her secret sanctuary, hidden even from Glimmer and Adora, and she had no desire to lose that, “I thought I could use it to help with sorcery class… you know we’ve got our exams coming up soon.”

Glimmer paused, convinced she had either misheard or that something in her mind had failed to make an obvious connection. There was nothing in the other girl’s words that seemed to track logically, and the confusion she wore on her face was clear for Catra to pick up.

“It’s got some kind of magic energy, feel,” she offered the sword towards Glimmer, “I thought you might know how to use some of that to make me better at spells or something.”

Taking the weapon in both hands, Glimmer could sense the radiating power running through her body, like the hum of a small electrical current. It was clear to her instantly that this was an immensely powerful object, though when she tried to test it out by teleporting around Catra’s bedroom, it seemed to have no effect – half a dozen teleports in and she was starting to feel tired, just as she usually did. She groaned in frustration, realising that not only was she unable to tap into such a powerful object, but that she’d also tired herself out for nothing.

“I can’t… I don’t know what to do with this,” she sighed in exasperation, “Maybe Adora will know – do you want me to get her?”

“Sure.”

Having expected Glimmer to either walk the short distance down the corridor to their friend’s bedroom, or more likely, teleport, it was a small shock to Catra when she simply took a deep breath and yelled as loud as she could, “ADOOOOORRRAAAAAA!”

Her tactic was effective, however, as a minute or so later, the door opened and Adora peered her head around into the room, hoping that Glimmer had interrupted her halfway through an essay for a good reason. She suspected that, as per usual, it was not.

“What are you shouting for? I…” her eyes were almost immediately drawn to the sword laying on the bed, “Where did that come from?”

Glimmer, whose intrigue had already voided her of what little patience she usually had, cut in before Catra could even get the first word out, “Catra found it. It’s some kind of magical sword that you might be able to work out how to use. Here…”

She grabbed the sword and held it out towards Adora, blade pointed downwards. The other girl reached for it, but the moment she made contact, a huge spark of magical energy jumped out from the stone set into the weapon, throwing Adora backwards into the air. Wood snapped as she was launched into Catra’s wardrobe door, breaking through it and falling to the floor, unmoving and unresponsive.

“Adora!”

Glimmer started to panic, “I… I’ll get Mum, she’ll know how to help.”

“No, Gli-” Catra was left talking to a small shower of sparkles in the air. Angella was the last person she wanted to see the sword – it would be confiscated immediately, and there would be the inevitable third degree about hiding weapons in her room _again._ But those thoughts quickly took a backseat to Adora, who still hadn’t moved, and she knelt down beside her, grasping one of the blonde girl’s hands in both of her own.

Tears began to form in her eyes as she dwelled on the possibility of losing her best friend. They had been through so much together – from the earliest years of their lives, living with the horrible things Shadow Weaver did, through to the lonely few months after they came to Bright Moon, when they had been invaluable in comforting each other through what was an absolutely terrifying time for two six-year-olds in a completely unknown place. Every high, every low, they had been there helping each other, always around when they needed a confidante or a shoulder to cry on, “Wake up, Adora, please…”

“What…?” a single word had never given Catra so much relief. Adora’s eyelids slowly lifted, and before she could even focus properly, she found herself wrapped in a thankful hug that was more for Catra’s comfort than her own, “What happened?”

The tell-tale sound of magic rang behind them as Glimmer teleported back into the room, with her mother in tow. Seeing Adora awake lessened the emergency, and Angella waited for Catra’s embrace to run its course before attending to her, checking for any injuries or concussion. Once she was satisfied there was no damage, her attention turned to the cause of the incident, and it was unsurprisingly Catra who she suspected held an explanation.

“How did she end up like this? Were you two fighting again?”

“No, no. It wasn’t anything like that, she, uh…” Catra was on the defensive, trying to stall for time to think up an acceptable excuse. It was her eyes that betrayed her, however, darting over to the sword laying on the floor at the end of her bed. Glimmer picked up on Catra’s agitation, trying to surreptitiously kick it further away to conceal it from her mother, but she was not quick or stealthy enough, and was caught with her foot hovering over the blade and a guilty look on her face.

Angella frowned at her daughter, stepping around the room to get a better view – if they were trying to hide something from her, there had to be a good reason - or, as it usually was with Glimmer and Catra, a bad one. Her eyes flared in surprise upon seeing the sword, a latent memory sparking to the forefront of her mind and building a sensation of dread, “Glimmer, get away from that!”

“Whoa, calm down,” she had suspected that her mother wouldn’t be too thrilled to find Catra hoarding a weapon in her room, but the reaction was far beyond what she imagined to be proportionate. There wasn’t the level of anger she had expected either, Angella’s response was more fearful than anything else, “It’s just a sword.”

“It isn’t ‘just a sword’. I’m sorry, but you cannot have this around, any of you.”

As she bent forward to pick it up, an irritated Catra leapt in front of her, “Hey, I found it! You can’t just take it, it’s mine. And what do you mean, it’s not ‘just a sword’?”

The Queen fell silent, mulling over how much to reveal. She recognised the sword from childhood legends, and had always assumed them to be fantastical works of fiction, but if this truly was what it looked like – if those legends were about to be proven true, then one of the girls could be at great risk. Protecting them was her top priority, but equally, she knew how inquisitive they could be, and refusing to say anything would only render them more likely to take risks.

“I believe this is the Sword of Protection,” she began, perching on the edge of the bed and laying the blade across her lap, “I thought it was just a myth, something they put in children’s story books, but to see it here… to hold it…”

“Cool magical mythical sword. Got it. Now can I have it back?”

Angella gave a short, breathy chuckle at Catra’s bluntness. She had always been so direct and up-front, rather like herself, and it was a quality she admired in the girl – you never doubted where you stood with her, “I’m afraid not. The legend tells that the Sword of Protection is the weapon of Etheria’s protector. It appears when someone has been chosen to carry the sword, and it bestows upon them the ability to turn into She-Ra, the Princess of Power.”

Glimmer’s ears perked, “Wait, I think I’ve heard of She-Ra! Wasn’t she the one who can transform and heal stuff with the sword? Oh my gosh, does that mean Catra can turn into her?”

“I’m not-”

“Hold on, Mum. If we’ve got She-Ra on our side, does that mean we can use her to finally defeat the Horde? Can we win the war?”

“I wish it were that simple,” Angella draped her arm around her daughter’s shoulder, pulling her closer and affording her a warm smile, “There is more to the legend. According to the books I have read, the last She-Ra was a woman called Mara, and the responsibility and power became too much for her. She snapped, opening the portal that stranded our planet in Despondos – Mara is the reason there are no stars in the night sky. I don’t want that happening to any of you.”

Catra was only half-listening, her thoughts had taken her to all sorts of enticing possibilities. If the sword had appeared to her, then that must surely mean that it was intended for her – and she would bet that being able to wield such incredible power would allow her to fly through the sorcery exam. More, in fact - this was so much bigger than some silly test, she could lead the Rebellion to victory and take down the Horde for good. She could exact her revenge upon Shadow Weaver for the miserable first six years of her life, show her that she was now far stronger than that scared little girl. And she wasn’t a weak person, she wouldn’t crack under the pressure like that Mara woman. Angella’s protectiveness was completely understandable, she loved Catra as a daughter and her efforts to shield her from the negative effects were appreciated by the feline. But Catra believed – knew, even – that she was stronger and more capable of handling whatever this She-Ra thing entailed, “It would only happen to me though, right? The sword showed up for me.”

“The sword appears when the chosen She-Ra is near, and roughly when they reach your age; it may not necessarily be the first person to find it who is the one selected to carry it.”

“So, it could be me instead?” Glimmer’s attention was recaptured. She, too, allowed her mind to run wild with the idea of becoming an all-powerful Princess, able to win battles alone with her huge power, rather than just being able to teleport around and throw sparkles. And maybe she wouldn’t ever have to recharge – just that alone would transform her life, she could go further, faster and teleport more people around with her; she could turn the tide of war, letting Bright Moon exist in peace for the first time in her life.

“I suppose it could.”

Angella’s earnest and genuine tone masked her true concern. From the moment she had seen the sword and Adora's accident, she’d made the connecting, instantly working out which of them had likely been chosen as the new She-Ra. That forceful reaction from touching the weapon would not have happened to just anyone, and as she glanced down at the blonde girl, now sat upright on the floor and listening intently, she wondered if Adora had made that link too. There was something a little ironic about Adora having been chosen; she was the most timid, most studious and least aggressive of the three girls – seemingly the least suitable to become a strong warrior to protect the planet. But what worried her more was that she was equally the most liable to find that stress too much to bear. Catra and Glimmer both threw themselves headfirst into everything they did, often powering through and succeeding with nothing but their self-confidence; Adora agonised over every decision she made, sometimes to the point of making herself sick with worry. Adding into that the weight of being the saviour of Etheria would overwhelm her, almost certainly leading to a repeat of what happened to Mara, and she could not let that happen.

“I am sorry, Catra, but I’m not going to let you have this sword around. I’ll be taking it somewhere safe whilst Micah and I decide what to do about it. Under no circumstances must any of you touch the sword, do you understand?”

After waiting for the chorus of resigned yeses that came from all three girls, Angella excused herself in order to secure the sword and talk it over with her husband. Glimmer could barely wait for her to leave before revealing her desire to do the complete opposite of what she’d just been told, “We absolutely need to touch that sword.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those counting, Catra is now 3 'fuck's to 0 for everyone else :D
> 
> In the next chapter: Bow! Books! She-Ra! Regret!


	4. Grayskull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Glimmer enlist Bow's help to find out more about She-Ra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still recovering from season 5, but I still managed to get some of this written! And I had so much fun with the Best Friend Squad dynamic here, especially Catra and Glimmer!

Adora had barely slept. The memory of the moment she had touched the sword kept replaying over and over in her mind: not so much the sudden bolt of energy running through her, which had apparently knocked her flying - she couldn't remember that part. It was the vivid dream she had had while unconscious that bothered her, a rapid fire of images and words that even after hours of rumination, she still could not decipher. Visions of planets, ancient monuments, someone holding the sword that had zapped her and then a strange-looking woman – Etheria had some bizarre people inhabiting it, but this was like nothing she had seen, almost like the woman was not of the world. She heard her name, too, several times. _Adora. Adora._ Then another word that was not familiar to her, something about Grayskull – was it a place? A person? Or something even more outlandish?

And then when Angella had told them about She-Ra, Adora had felt growing unease. She wasn’t sure, of course, but it made her terrified that she had been chosen to become the Princess of Power. But why? And who chose her? She couldn’t be a warrior, let alone a saviour of Etheria – she was maybe a fairly fast runner, but sports and combat weren’t exactly high on the castle’s education agenda. If she became She-Ra, she would have no idea what to do or how to help, and probably fail the entire planet all in one go. This responsibility, this duty, would be too stressful for her to handle and she could only hope that the decision Micah and Angella made was to get rid of the sword permanently so that she wouldn’t have to make the decision. Although, if she wanted them to take away the ability to become She-Ra from her, wouldn’t that equally be failing the planet?

With so many questions and worries racing through her head as she lay awake, by the time morning came around, Adora was far from well-rested. Her body felt drained, her head ached, and her eyes were sore; she was only thankful that there was no school that day. But any attempt to try and catch up on sleep with a morning nap was well and truly scuppered by the persistent knocking at her door. Adora’s initial idea to ignore it also proved futile when she heard Glimmer’s voice.

“Adora, I’m coming in.”

“Glimmer, don’t, I’m tired…” she turned over and sandwiched her head between two pillows to try and block out the noise. This gave her all of two seconds peace before the one on top was wrenched away from her, replaced by Glimmer’s smiling face.

“Bow’s coming over, get up.”

Adora groaned, resigning herself to not sleeping any further, “Really? Fine… go get Catra up and I’ll sort myself out.”

“Sure, I’ll get her,” she breathed in, grinned, then raised her voice as loud as she could, “CAAAATRAAAAAAA!!!”

The sudden shouting did little to help with Adora’s headache; it shook through her like thunder, sending her cowering back underneath her remaining pillow. This, too, was forcibly taken by the Princess and launched across the room, landing almost perfectly on top of the other. A few moments later, Catra appeared in the doorway, a smirk spreading across her face when she noticed Adora still in bed. She ran towards her, leaping into the air and landing on her, spreading her body lengthways across Adora’s body.

“Hey, Adora.”

“Catra, get off!” she grumbled, trying to shove her friend off the bed so that she could at least sit up to take part in the unwelcome invasion of her bedroom. Her attempts were in vain, each push only making Catra more determined to stay exactly where she was.

“I can’t move, I’m soooo tired,” she responded in a dramatic voice, her mischievous smile, and the glint in her eye softening Adora into a giggle. She winked at the girl, “There we go – had to get you to laugh somehow, you look like crap.”

“Thanks…?”

Satisfied that her job was complete, Catra hopped back off the bed, allowing Adora to swivel herself around to sit on the edge. She quickly pulled on a crumpled t-shirt and pair of leggings from the floor, straightening them down as best she could to look reasonably presentable. It was only Bow, one of their best friends, but she still felt a duty to be dressed in slightly more than a bra and a pair of shorts. How she envied Catra, who could roll out of bed already looking perfect without the need for any make-up or even brushing her hair – and even when not perfect, Catra didn’t care what anyone thought; a far cry from Adora’s constant inner worries about how she appeared to others.

Bow’s arrival came around five minutes later with a polite and restrained knock on the door, Glimmer telling him to come in before Adora could. As ever, he was smiling warmly, but a more unusual addition was the rather heavy-looking bag hanging from one hand.

“Hey Bow!” Catra hopped across the room, raising her arm as he did the same to meet in a high five. His other arm carefully lowered the bag he was carrying to the ground.

“Dyed your hair again, Catra? Suits you.”

“Yeah, I thought I would go for black,” she inhaled theatrically, placing her hand upon her chest, “To match my evil heart.”

Bow couldn’t help but chuckle as he reached up to stroke her head just behind the ears, Catra becoming visibly frustrated as she purred uncontrollably, “You’re not evil, Catra, you’re adorable.”

“Can you just… don’t, no... stop that… Bow…” she spluttered, trying to stop herself laughing, torn between the pleasant sensation and the scary persona she wanted to project – an image everyone in the room knew to be false, “Adora, help!”

“Fine, I’ll help,” the girl sauntered over, deliberately slowly, then grasped Bow’s wrist away, “Bow, stop that. It’s my turn, anyway.”

Adora picked up exactly where Bow left off, stroking the hair behind her ears, knowing it was almost guaranteed to turn the girl into a simpering puddle of purrs. Catra grumbled her name, which only made the blonde girl smile, but the second “Adora” came injected with a mix of genuine anger and fear, along with the sides of her mouth flaring to bare her teeth. Adora stopped immediately. Catra had come so far since their first years at Bright Moon – for a long time, she hadn’t let anyone but Adora touch her, violently hitting out when anybody else tried, though with time, she had reached a place where she was comfortable with contact from her closest friends and family. But despite her progress, she still had a limit beyond which her building emotions drowned out the logical, reassuring part of her brain, and told her she was in danger. Fortunately, her friends had learnt to recognise the signs that she was reaching that point, and to promptly relinquish all contact, without question, before it became too much and she lashed out.

“Anyway, what brings you to Bright Moon, Bow? Just hanging out with the girls?” Adora diverted attention away, Catra silently welcoming the opportunity to calm herself without three pairs of eyes staring at her.

He gestured to his bag, “Glimmer told me about your project, and asked if my dads had any books. So I’ve come to help out.”

“What…? What project?” panic quickly set in as Adora worried she had entirely forgotten about an important piece of schoolwork. If she hadn’t started yet, she would be behind, and then maybe have to rush to finish it. And if it was rushed, it wouldn’t be up to her usual standard, so her teacher would notice and there would be an awkward conversation about why she had let herself slip so far.

“The She-Ra one? I don’t know why you’re 14 and doing a project about a kids’ fairy-tale, but that’s what Glimmer said. My dads had a few books about her though.”

Adora’s relief at not having overlooked any homework was only momentary as it dawned on her what Glimmer was trying to do. Even though Angella had told them not to go near the sword, her daughter had unsurprisingly gone wholeheartedly into disobeying – presumably, Bow’s involvement was to help them find out how to use it and unleash She-Ra. Adora couldn’t let them go that far and tried to appeal to his sensible nature, “It’s not a fairy-tale, Bow, She-Ra is real. Catra found the sword, then Angella took it away and told us not to go near it because it could be dangerous.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be fine,” Glimmer nearly pushed her out of the way as she cut in front, “You won’t be She-Ra anyway, it’ll be me. I’m the one who can teleport, after all.”

“Hey! I found it!” Catra protested, glaring at her, “It appeared for me, so I’m obviously She-Ra.”

“You are not!”

“Fucking am!”

Bow rolled his eyes as they continued arguing, “Want to throw your hat into the ring too, Adora? Or shall we just start reading?”

Adora simply nodded, and he proceeded to take a small stack of books from the bag, spreading them across the floor. They both picked one, and once their squabble had died down, Catra and Glimmer joined them. Each of them pored over the many tomes ranging from historical writings to children’s books to literary analysis. Over an hour passed with little new information becoming known beyond what Angella had told them, until Glimmer gasped loudly, her face lit up with excitement.

“I’ve got it!” she turned the book around in her hands to show the others, “This bit says that to transform into She-Ra, the person has to hold the sword and say ‘for the honour of Grayskull’. If we go-”

“Grayskull?” Adora’s heart felt like it had stopped. That word again, the one she’d heard when she was unconscious – it couldn’t be a coincidence, and it only served to solidify the certainty that she had been chosen to become She-Ra.

Glimmer couldn’t stop her eager laugh, “Yeah! We can all try, that way we’ll know for sure who it is.”

“I don’t think we should…”

Adora’s protests were unheeded, with Glimmer already on her feet dragging Bow up from the floor, then Catra doing the same to Adora. With heavy reluctance, she found herself being pulled along the castle corridors, and, finally, into the King and Queen’s bedroom, where Glimmer assured them the sword would be.

“Every time they take something away from me, they hide it in the back of the wardrobe,” she began rifling through boxes on the floor of the large closet, “Hey, it’s my football, I wondered where that got to. Wait, I think I see…. Yep, got it.”

She re-emerged, proudly brandishing the illicit sword, which Catra immediately snatched from her hand, “My turn first.”

“Catra!”

“I found it, Glimmer,” she used her body to shield the blade, despite the other girl greedily trying to reach past her, “I should go first.”

“But I found out about the Grayskull thing! I should – Bow, tell her!”

“I’m going first, Glimmer. For the honour of-” the sword was knocked from her hand, “Glimmer! Adora, tell her!”

The argument continued until Bow stepped in, worried about the likelihood of injury, “Stop it, both of you! Stop fighting with sharp objects, _please._ Catra, just let Glimmer go first.”

“Ha, suck it, kitty.”

“ _You_ suck it, Sparkles,” Catra shot Bow the most betrayed look he’d ever seen, and angrily thrust the non-deadly end of the weapon towards Glimmer, who eagerly clasped her hands around it.

“Alright, gonna do this,” she held the sword unsteadily off the ground, not realising how much strength would be needed to actually raise it to the air as the book had suggested. Hoping that being three feet off the ground would suffice, she drew breath, “For the honour of Grayskull!”

Nothing. Glimmer growled, trying again in case she had messed something up the first time, but her second attempt proved just as fruitless. Her heart sank as she resigned herself to still being the weak, sparkly Princess – always having to recharge, and her magical attacks being more ticklish than painful. There was no way her parents would ever let her onto the frontline of the war with such useless powers, and maybe being She-Ra would have changed that. But now, her dreams would have to be reined in again.

Her loss was Catra’s gain, however, and the feline made sure Glimmer noticed the self-righteous look on her face as she took the sword. Glimmer’s failure had only shored up her conviction that her own destiny was about to change for the better, and confidently raised it to say the words she prayed would bring a revolution to her life, “For the honour of Grayskull!”

“You look like a twat,” Glimmer helpfully offered up her opinion to Catra after she, too, saw no change whatsoever, “I knew you weren’t She-Ra.”

Catra dropped the sword onto the floor, ignoring the yelp of concern over damage to the carpet coming from Bow’s mouth, “Yeah, well you aren’t either. I told you so.”

“Ugh! Well _I’m_ too mature to say, ‘I told you so’. But Bow isn’t…. Bow?”

“Uh… Glimmer told you so?” he wasn’t quite sure how he had gotten himself implicated in yet another squabble between the two girls, and figured that playing along would be the easiest ride to ending it.

“Damn right I did,” Glimmer winked at Catra before turning towards Adora, “Your turn now.”

Adora shook her head, waving her hand dismissively. If she didn’t try, then there was definitely no chance of becoming She-Ra, and there would be no pressure to be this mythical superhero, or whatever it was supposed to be, “Oh, no, I’m… I’m fine.”

“Not giving you a choice, Adora,” Catra lifted the sword again and shoved it into her hands, “Now say the words.”

“I don’t want to, it’s… it’s stupid.”

Glimmer heaped the pressure on, “Come on, Adora. It’ll take two seconds and we will never ask you to do _anything_ ever again.”

“Pleeeaaaase, Adora! I’ll stop jumping on you to wake you up.”

“I’ll teleport you anywhere you want to go.”

“I’ll stop farting and blaming it on you”

“I’ll… wait, really Catra? You’re disgusting, ew.”

The incessant begging had rapidly forced Adora’s stress levels to rise and her breaking point was quickly reached, “OK! Fine! Just shut up, both of you.”

Thoughts of keeping Glimmer and Catra quiet beat out her worries about what would happen, and she effortlessly raised the sword to the ceiling and spoke the words that had been unsuccessful for her two friends. The moment they left her mouth, all four were blinded by an intense flash of light from both the blade and Adora herself. When it had faded enough to let them see, they could do little but stare at the person in front of them – it was Adora, yet at the same time it wasn’t Adora. Already rather tall, she now stood at least seven foot in height, and her hair was no longer covering her face but flowing down her back. And her clothing had entirely changed, too; the t-shirt and leggings on their second day of wear had been replaced by a white dress with gold detailing and matching shorts and boots. She was also now wearing a winged crown on her head and a red cape hung from her shoulders.

Catra’s eyes looked as though they were going to pop out from her head, “Oh. My. God. Adora...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: They come clean to Angella, and everyone's off to Mystacor!


	5. New Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora, Glimmer and Catra have to deal with the fallout from Adora's transformation. Catra has her own additional difficulties at seeing her best friend become She-Ra.

“Adora…” Catra was lost for words after seeing her friend’s transformation. If she hadn’t witnessed it first-hand, she would never have believed it possible. Changed from a timid teenager into a fearsome giant warrior, Adora hadn’t yet realised the extent of what had happened, and as she followed Catra’s gaze to her own body, what she saw was a shock. Her clothes had somehow changed, and she was wearing boots – how did they even get there? She had never seen this outfit in her life.

“Wha…?” Adora dropped the sword in her surprise, immediately converting back to her old appearance. The dress, the boots and the crown seemingly dissipated into the air as her height returned to normal and her hair reverted to its usual position covering over half her face, “What just happened to me?”

Bow, Glimmer and Catra could only stare, mouths agape, while they tried to find any form of explanation for what they had just seen. They were each familiar with the magic that infused the planet – Glimmer was able to teleport, after all – but this was far beyond anything any of them could recall seeing. The books they had read talked about She-Ra as this legendary figure, an almost unreal storybook superhero; to see Adora, someone they had grown up with for the last eight years and knew better than anyone, changing into her was astounding.

Before they could even begin to form thoughts to respond, let alone talk, the door to the bedroom flew open, with an angry Angella storming in, “One of my guards informed me she saw you sneaking into my bedroom. What is going on in here? Glimmer?!”

“I… we…”

As the queen’s eyeline moved past her daughter, to Catra and Bow, and then to Adora, who was stood in shock with the Sword of Protection at her feet, she connected the dots and realised what had taken place, “No… Tell me you haven’t…”

“I’m sorry,” Adora mumbled, her gazed fixed upon the floor. She knew she had let Angella down and would likely be in a lot of trouble for it. Catra and Glimmer may have pressured her, but ultimately it was her own decision to pick up the sword and say those words. She prepared herself for the worst, silently berating herself for disappointing the queen.

“It wasn’t her fault, Mum,” Glimmer came to her rescue, still guilty about being caught, but not wanting Adora to take the brunt of the anger for something that she’d coerced her into doing, “Catra and I told her to.”

“Bow, please go home. You three, we’re going to have a talk.”

The young man bowed slightly to her, then slipped out of the room quietly without even any parting gesture to the girls. They could feel Angella seething with anger as the silence increased in intensity, and the longer it went on, the more uncomfortable it became for them. It felt like an age before the queen finally said something.

“How _dare_ you disobey me,” she spoke quietly, something that was entirely more worrying and scary than if she had been yelling, “Do you realise how dangerous that could have been? You don’t know the sort of power you’re messing with here – Adora could have been seriously hurt, or worse!”

Catra knew that interrupting was not a sensible thing to do, but she couldn’t help herself, “She wasn’t though, she’s fine.”

“CATRA! I AM TALKING! Clearly none of you can be trusted to be here right now, so you are not to be in the castle tonight. I will ask Micah to take you to Mystacor for the night while I decide on what to do with the sword. All of you go and pack a bag, NOW!”

* * *

The three girls had spent dozens of holidays in Mystacor. Part relaxing retreat, part elite sorcery school, the place was always a lot calmer than Bright Moon, and they were guaranteed an enthusiastic welcome by Glimmer’s aunt, Castaspella, who was the head sorceress there. Adora had long dreamt of studying here in the future, when she had outgrown the schooling provided by the castle staff; she could learn at an advanced level, and maybe even becoming one of the leading sorcerers like Casta herself. Today’s trip, however, was less a getaway than it was a punishment, and she feared that word of her misbehaviour and disregard for Angella’s instructions would get round, risking her ability to come here to study in the years to come.

If there was any disappointment amongst the higher-ups here, however, Castaspella didn’t show it. Micah and the three of them had barely set foot on the floating island that played home to the town when she came running down the path, beaming a smile the width of her face as she always did.

“Girls, you’re here!” she almost collided with Glimmer, wrapping her arms around her rather unimpressed niece.

“Aunt Casta, stop that! I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Nonsense, you’re never too old to hug your aunt,” the sorceress relinquished one arm to grab Catra and bring her in to the embrace, “You too Catra. And Adora… or should I say She-Ra?”

Adora’s face reddened. She had hoped that the news hadn’t yet reached Mystacor, and already felt ashamed that Casta – one of the key people she would need to impress to be accepted here – knew about her misdeeds, “Please, don’t. I’m just… It was just a one-off thing.”

“Well, let’s not think about that now, shall we?” the sorceress moved on breezily, keeping the mood upbeat, “Excitement awaits! What will it be first? Bathing in the thermal springs? Chilling out on the beach? You like the beach, Catra.”

The feline’s face remained stoic, “Sure.”

“Glimmer, you must know what you want to do.”

“Springs?” she looked around to the other two girls to get their approval, but neither seemed to give any response. Neither of them had talked much on the trip over, which was usual for Adora, but less so for Catra, and she tried to get a rise out of her, “I know Catra loves the water – splashing, diving under it, pouring it over her head, just water in general, right?”

“Yeah.”

Sensing the tension in the air, Castaspella felt it prudent to break through and distract them, “Well whatever you end up doing, it’s all ready for you. Shall we get going? I’ll get your bags put into your room, and you can take it easy. Ooh, we’ve got some new magical plants in the garden if that’s your thing!”

“You three head on, I just need a word with Catra,” Micah waved them off through the gates, waiting until they were a short distance away before gently pulling her aside.

Catra huffed, “What have I done now?”

“No, nothing like that,” he shook his head and gave her a slight smile that put her more at ease, “You’ve just been unusually quiet on the trip over – what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Can’t I just be quiet for once? I mean, you and Angella are always telling me to shut up, so I thought you’d be happy.”

Micah was not in the least bit convinced. Over the years, he’d learnt to read all the signs that something was troubling the girls: for Glimmer, it was becoming over-energetic, with heavily forced cheerfulness; with Adora, she would get lost in her own thoughts, zoning out of conversations and making even less eye-contact than usual; and for Catra, it was when she withdrew into herself and the normally mouthy girl became uncharacteristically quiet. She was usually the hardest to get through to, as well, getting defensive when people pried into her life, but Micah wasn’t going to let it go unaddressed.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying the peace,” he chuckled, gently nudging her arm, “But we’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s up.”

She shrugged dismissively, “Doesn’t matter.”

“Catra, please, talk to me. I can help.”

There was a short silence as Catra debated whether she should keep up her defences, attack with more barbed words, or give in, open up and let herself be vulnerable. Though she had been in Bright Moon for over half her life now, the values the Horde had instilled from her at a young age still shaped the way she thought – not showing any form of weakness was rule number one. If you allowed yourself to be exposed in any way, whether it was neglecting to monitor your surroundings on the battlefield or talking about your vulnerabilities, that was when you got hurt. But she had to remind herself, she wasn’t in the Horde anymore; she was safe, with people who weren’t going to take advantage.

“Alright, fine,” her eyes closed to help her build the confidence to talk, as though if she didn’t see herself doing it, then it wasn’t as real, “I hate that Adora got to be She-Ra.”

“I’m not sure she’s too happy about it either. Look, Angella and I still have a lot to discuss about what to do with the sword, so it’s quite possible we won’t allow her to be She-Ra until she’s much older and can handle the responsibility. That’s if we ever let her. You’ll have time to get used to it.”

Catra’s fists balled up as frustration at her words being misconstrued began to seep through, “It’s not that, I…”

“Go on,” Micah gently coaxed, sensing he was getting closer to uncovering the real issue, “It’s OK.”

“I wanted to be She-Ra!” she was aware that her slightly whiny outburst made her sound like a stroppy toddler, and took a deep breath to try and better explain herself, “I… I thought that if I was She-Ra then it would make me better at sorcery. I absolutely suck at it - I can never do anything write in the lessons and I wanted… I wanted you to be proud of me.”

Micah’s face became a warm smile, and he put his arm around Catra’s shoulder, expecting her to pull away as usual. To his surprise, she gave no struggle, instead resting her head against his forearm, and he drew her closer, “I am proud of you, Catra. So proud. I’ve watched you turn from an angry, scared abused kid into a wonderful, self-confident, clever, sometimes-a-pain-in-the-ass, happy young woman, and I could not be more delighted. I love you and Adora like you’re my own, and nothing will change that. You’re worth so much more than just your schoolwork, and I wouldn’t mind if you failed every single lesson, because there are some things that tests can’t measure, OK?”

“OK,” she nodded, amazed to realise that she was shedding a tear, “But I still hate that I'm useless at it. I wish I could be better.”

He let go of her suddenly, “Right then, come on. Conjure me a butterfly.”

“What, _now_?” she sniffled, still desperately willing her eyes to stop embarrassing her by leaking.

“Yes, now. Do you remember the runes for it?”

“Yeah, but…” despite Adora, Glimmer and the other kids in their class being able to do such light illusions in their sleep by now, Catra had only ever managed to successfully pull it off twice in her entire life. Sometimes she had managed to draw the first rune, but it usually vanished the moment she moved to attempt the second. And this was a simple spell, only three symbols, but for someone who was as bad at magic as Catra, it was a near-impossible task.

Micah didn’t relent on his determination, trying to keep a balance of assertiveness and kindness to encourage her along, “Then draw them, go on.”

She brought a shaky hand into the air in front of her, tracing the basic outlines of the spell she remembered. If someone more adept at magic had been doing it, there would have been a glowing rune hovering in the air, but Catra was merely waving her finger at nothing. It was yet another failure, that served only to remind her that she wasn’t as good as Adora or Glimmer. She gave a pained glance to Micah, who loosely gripped her wrist and reminded her to relax and focus as he started her off, a faint pink light remaining in the trail of her finger’s path. Catra’s eyes flared upon seeing the completed rune not only appearing but persisting in the air when she moved to draw the second of the three.

“You’ve got this. Just breathe deeply and concentrate.”

The girl fixed her focus on his words, coming back to them when her doubts threatened to disrupt her connection to the spell taking form in front of her. Moving on to the final rune, the most difficult of the three, Catra’s entire thoughts were given over to the task at hand. Everything else fell away, and she felt a link to the magic around her that was unlike any of her previous experiences in the sorcery class. The moment her hand finished the trace of the last symbol, all three started to glow brighter, merging together at the centre point between them and blossoming into a brilliant white concentration of magical energy in the form of a butterfly.

Catra jumped back, gasping in surprise, “I did it! I did it!”

“You absolutely did!” Micah caught her eyes with the spark in his own, “I knew you could. Keep practising and you’ll get better – and you know I’m always around to help with it.”

“I did it! I can’t believe it, I… Thank you, thank you so much.”

The grin plastered across her face was a wonderful thing to see, and the king was merely glad he’d managed to help bring it back. Catra was often a handful to deal with – moody, sarcastic and outspoken – but underneath the brash exterior, Micah knew there was still a vulnerable girl, no doubt still living with the effects of Light Spinner’s mistreatment. He and Angella had put so much into creating an environment that she felt safe in, but the witch left her mark on people, and Catra would forever be fighting an internal battle against her. Whatever he could do to make it an easier one was more than worthwhile.

“My pleasure. Shall we go and catch up with the others?”

* * *

Angella paced the corridor anxiously, the Sword of Protection in her hand. It troubled her how an object of such power, capable of bringing so much good to a world in chaos, could equally beget so much disorder in the mind of the one who wielded it. If the legends were true, the last She-Ra, Mara, had been driven to the point of madness and stranded the planet in an endless nothingness. Adora was hardly the sort of person to involve herself in fighting – she would rather lock herself in her bedroom and read – but she was a promising young sorcerer, and she was fairly athletic, so to allow her to unleash her potential as She-Ra would benefit the Rebellion greatly. At least, after some military training.

On the other hand, Adora didn’t have the strength of character required. She was cripplingly shy, only coming out of her shell around Catra and Glimmer, and she took criticism so personally. One setback as She-Ra, and it would destroy what little confidence she had. The mere idea of Adora succumbing to the same turmoil that consumed Mara was distressing to Angella; the girl was such a pleasant young woman, but she worried so much about everything, and this was a stress she didn’t need.

As the queen wandered the halls of Bright Moon, lost in thought, her general approached, a grave look upon her face, “Your majesty, you are needed in the war room. We have some urgent news.”

Angella hurried along behind her, rushing into the war room where several of her highest-ranking military personnel were already stood, saluting her arrival, “What’s happened?”

“Your majesty, our scouts have reported a rapidly increasing number of troops gathering outside the Whispering Woods. We’re concerned they may attempt to make inroads into the woods and get closer to Bright Moon, “ the general swiped her hand over the hologram map that covered the table, zooming in and highlighting an area pulsing with the flashing red dots that signified confirmed sightings of the Horde.

Angella sighed, closing her eyes for several moments. With the appearance of the sword, not to mention Adora’s new-found status as She-Ra, she had enough to worry about without trying to plan a defence against a Horde attack. Still, as the Whispering Woods provided a strong, natural fortification, any troops would not find it easy to penetrate through them to reach the castle. Even if they were planning an offensive, they would be slowed down by the forest that was near-impenetrable to anyone who wasn't familiar with it.

“Very well. I want more of our observers positioned nearby to keep an eye on the situation. If there is any movement towards Bright Moon, I want to be notified right away.”

“Yes, your majesty,” the general saluted, leaving the room to carry out the queen’s wishes right away. The other members of her guard followed suit, leaving Angella alone, her gaze darting between the sword and the blinking red dots of the map.

“Why now?” she laid her head on the table, almost offering a prayer for everything to be simpler again, “And _why Adora?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dad Micah is best Dad!
> 
> Next chapter could go one of two ways - do people want a little bit of Catradora awkward romance, or should I carry on with the sword business?


	6. Girls' Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making the best of their enforced night away in Mystacor, Glimmer sneaks some snacks into their hotel room - and something else too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have spoken, and preferred some extra Catradora (I'm glad you did, this now feeds into Catra's arc a lot better)

Spending the evening in Mystacor did wonders for Glimmer, Adora and Catra, giving them the chance to let go of everything that was troubling them in the aftermath of the day's events. For Adora, two hours spent alone in the springs, soothed by the clear, warm waters allowed her to forget – just for a short time – about the sword and her transformation into She-Ra. Though it was no easy task to push out her worries about what the responsibility of being Etheria’s protector meant, or the more distressing ones around what would happen if she failed in her duty, her brain eventually managed to mirror the calm of the environment around her, giving her respite from the chaos of the day that had come before.

By the time she opened the door to their room, Adora was a lot more at peace with herself. Of course, there were so many fears she still had to conquer, but just for now, they could be placed to one side. As was tradition at this point, the girls all shared a room – the first trip they had all taken together to Mystacor was during an eclipse when space for guests was very limited, and they’d been required to share a room, top and tailing in a double bed. Despite Angella’s continually having to come in and tell them to be quiet, the night was one of their happiest memories. They’d stayed up late, talking and telling stories well past their bedtime, and it was a pivotal moment in the relationship between the three; the first time that Catra and Adora had really felt themselves accepted by their new family. As a result, the next time they came to Mystacor, a few months after that, they’d asked Castaspella if they could share a room again, and she was more than happy to oblige.

Naturally, as they’d grown, so did their accommodation. No longer able to squeeze three into a bed, the trio usually took over a family room in the guesthouse, rearranging the furniture so they could all be closer together. Seeing a vast expanse of beds directly in front of her, it appeared to Adora that Catra and Glimmer had taken care of that already, and she had to climb over a bed to reach the centre of the room where the feline was sprawled over her own, engrossed in a book.

“Where’s Glimmer?” Adora queried, having expected the younger Princess to be in their room by this hour. These days they didn’t have an enforced bedtime, but usually retired before the evening got too late.

Catra didn’t look up from her book, “Gone to get snacks.”

“Awesome. What’cha reading?” she peered across to try and examine the title, and despite the girl’s efforts to hide it by placing it underneath her black and pink T-shirt, Adora succeeded, “’Light Illusions for Beginners’? Are you… are you _studying_?”

“Don’t make a big thing of it. We’ve got an exam coming up, and I don’t want to fail completely.”

Adora’s response was not a spoken one, but simply a raised eyebrow and an inane grin. Initially, it went unnoticed, but the silence forced Catra to glance over to find her friend stood with the same goofy look on her face, “What?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t say anything.”

“Why are you making that face?” she put the book down on the table beside her, “No! No, this doesn’t mean I’m becoming a nerd like you… Adora – Adora, stop it!”

Catra leapt across the room, pouncing on Adora and knocking her flat, their eyes meeting for a charged, fleeting second before they both ejected any untoward thoughts from their minds. The grin on each of their faces quickly turned to gleeful laughter as the blonde girl playfully fought to free herself, their hands battling each other to gain the advantage.

“Get off me, nerd!”

“I told you, Adora, I’m not a nerd! You are!”

“Uh huh, whatever you say, Catra…”

The sound of giggling and excited screaming from their intense, but good-natured fighting, was loud enough that they didn’t hear the sound of magic from across the room as Glimmer teleported back. She dropped several bags of food onto the bed and loudly cleared her throat, making the other two freeze and immediately look over, their faces painted with guilt and Catra still knelt astride a prone Adora.

“You two need some privacy?”

Without any delay, they ceased their playfight, quickly clambering into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, still wearing their embarrassment in their expressions. They’d always enjoyed that kind of exuberant frolicking with each other, though Angella and Micah frowned upon it, saying that it was the sort of thing that only the Horde did. Those with the Rebellion ‘found other ways to expend energy’, apparently, but they sought comfort from sparring – it was one of the only times that Catra could see Adora more confident with herself, safe in the knowledge that she wouldn’t be judged or criticised.

Catra furrowed her brow, choosing to defuse the awkwardness with some of her characteristic snark, “We were so bored waiting for you to come back that I had time to kick Adora’s ass.”

“You did not!” she protested, nudging the feline’s shoulder with her own, “If anything, I kicked yours, but, uh… You got snacks, then, Glimmer?”

“Snacks aaaand… something else. But you cannot tell anyone.”

Her words, coupled with the sing-song voice, rapidly spiked Adora’s anxiety. If there were about to have something they weren’t supposed to, if they were caught… the fallout could be huge. Angella would be so disappointed about how much Adora had let her down, Castaspella would find out and ban her from Mystacor, and that would mean no advanced sorcery studies. Everyone expected her to become this great sorcerer – and she wanted to be – but if whatever Glimmer was planning blew up in their faces, that would be her life destroyed.

“Sure, I won’t if you won’t,” Catra had no such qualms. If there was a chance to do something they weren’t allowed, she would jump at it as she always did, “Adora?”

“I don’t know… what have you got?”

Gingerly, Glimmer took her hand out from behind her back, presenting the other two with a glass bottle filled with dark liquid. Catra scrambled over the bed to snatch it from her hands, returning to a place out of her reach to get a closer look, “Erelandia Fine Wine… holy fuck Glimmer, how did you get this?”

“Let’s just say being able to teleport has its advantages,” she smirked, the sparkle in her eyes seeming stronger than usual, “Plus there was, like, hundreds of them, so they won’t miss one.”

“Awesome! What do you say, Adora? We won’t tell if you won’t.”

Adora shuffled uneasily. Back at home, Angella and Micah allowed them to drink small amounts of alcohol at the big Bright Moon banquets, not that she particularly enjoyed it, but that was all. They’d once caught Catra at one of events trying to take half a bottle that had been left over, and she was grounded for a month over it – Adora had rarely seen Angella that angry, and she had no wish to see it again, “It’s not any of us telling that worries me. What if they catch us? Or what if they notice tomorrow morning?”

“That is a problem for tomorrow morning!” Catra had already got to work unscrewing the cap of the bottle, “It’ll be fun! Come on, Adora…”

“Ah… sure…”

The wavering assent was taken as a signal to immediately proceed, and Catra took a sizeable swig of the alcohol, coughing profusely as it hit the back of her throat. The rapid transformation of her face from self-assured cockiness to wide-eyed regret sent Adora and Glimmer into fits of laughter, and they simply watched the feline splutter from the burning sensation of the wine until her eyes began to water. Eventually the sensation subsided enough for her to talk, and she launched, red-faced, into a wheezing tirade.

“Don’t help me or anything! I could have _died_! You both suck so bad.”

“Whatever, Kitty,” Glimmer took the bottle from her, making sure to swallow a little less than Catra had just done so that she wouldn’t embarrass herself in the same way, “Oh wow, that’s…wow…Your turn Adora.”

Her arm outstretched, she offered the wine over to the only one of the three who hadn’t yet tried it. Adora cautiously took hold of it, taking her time in order to put off the decision to move from innocent bystander to guilty party by reading the gold writing on the label. As Catra had already discovered, the wine came from Erelandia – from a small vineyard to the north, according to the smaller text on the back. Supposedly the bottle contained enough for eight glasses, though she had to wonder what size glasses it meant, as there wasn’t anything written that made it clear. Bright Moon had about five different sizes that they used regularly, ranging from small up to much bigger goblets that could probably fit half the-

“Adora! You can’t drink it without actually drinking it!” Catra’s voice made her jump, but it managed to provide enough encouragement for her to stop putting it off and throw caution to the wind. She raised the bottle to her lips, allowing a small amount to enter her mouth and be swallowed. It was stronger than she expected, fooling her palate with its initial softness that soon gave way to the slightly acidic sensation as it went down.

Glimmer stared at her with expectant eyes, “So? What do you think?”

“I think I’m going to regret this."

“That’s the spirit!” Catra threw her arms around Adora, squeezing her uncomfortably tightly, “Oh! We should play a game!”

“Yes!” Glimmer cheered enthusiastically, stealing the bottle back, “I have the perfect one: we each ask each other questions about ourselves. If you get it wrong, you drink. And I’m taking first question ‘cause I thought of one: what is my favourite type of tea?”

While Adora began to rifle through her memories, being fairly sure that Glimmer had told her on more than one occasion, Catra had little desire in getting any of the questions correct. She shouted out the first thing that came into her mind, albeit with a faux confidence that she knew what she was talking about, “STRAWBERRY!”

“Incorrect! Drink!”

She offered the bottle over to the feline, who swigged down a mouthful of wine, then gestured towards Adora to seek her answer.

“I think it’s jasmine tea?”

“That’s actually right,” Glimmer applauded, a little disappointed that Adora had missed the main point of the game and was actually trying to get everything right. But then, that was the girl in a nutshell, always striving to be top of the class, no matter the occasion, “I guess that means it’s your turn.”

“Oh, I…” she hadn’t prepared anything, and rapidly ran through a mental list of topics she could ask about. It wasn’t particularly easy or comfortable for Adora to talk about herself very much, and that meant that the other girls knew less about her than she did of them. Plus, she didn’t want to make it too easy, nor did she want to go too hard, and after a good two minutes of silence, Adora had the best-balanced question she could muster, “Okay, what age did I lose my first tooth?”

“TWENTY-SEVEN!” Catra again went enthusiastically for the first thing that came to her, despite the obvious absurdity of the answer. The look of disdain she received from Adora was paired with a more awe-struck one from Glimmer, and she didn’t wait for any prompting to take another mouthful of wine.

Adora sighed, admonishing the girl, “You know that’s wrong, Catra. At least _try_ to take it seriously.”

“I am taking it seriously! I’m getting _seriously_ drunk!”

“Just… no. Glimmer?”

The Princess had given it a little more thought than Catra, but was just as unfocused on getting right answers instead of drinking, “Like… I dunno, seven?”

“Also wrong. I was six.”

“OHHH!” Catra was a little louder than she expected, hushing herself to a whisper when she realised. She passed the bottle, now half-empty, back to Glimmer and continued on with their game, “Anyway, it’s my turn. My question for you two is… what colour bra did I put on today?”

“Catra!” protested Adora, “You can’t expect us to know that. Pick a proper question.”

She rolled her eyes at the blonde girl, accompanied by her now-trademark look of contempt , “Duh, I _want_ you to get it wrong – that’s the whole point of the game.”

“No it isn’t! Glimmer, tell her!”

“It kind of is, Adora.”

Adora huffed angrily, more annoyed at being asked a question she didn’t know the answer to than the fact that she’d been railroaded into doing something that could get her into a lot of trouble if they were found out. Maybe there was a way to make an educated guess? She could remember seeing a few different colours of clothes in Catra’s room, including a few items of underwear, but it was of little help here, and she had to give a reply almost at random, “White?”

With a wide grin across her face, Catra shook her head, pointing at Adora to indicate to Glimmer that she would have to take a drink. The wine tasted just as bad as the first time and was already starting to make her feel a little dehydrated, which only added to the discomfort she felt. Both Catra and Glimmer seemed to be enjoying themselves, however, and she didn’t want to bring them down or invite criticism that she ‘wasn’t fun’ by complaining, so keeping quiet was Adora’s only real option.

“Red?” Glimmer offered up her answer, similarly picking her response arbitrarily.

“Also wrong, it is…” to the bewilderment of the other two girls, Catra opted to show rather than tell, nimbly pulling her top up over her head and throwing it at Glimmer, “… black!”

The brazen move changed the atmosphere in the room, almost a reminder that they had crossed a line the moment they began drinking without permission. An initial wave of curiosity hit Adora, and for a moment she was transfixed by the newly-revealed body of her friend before some sense of responsibility kicked in, “Catra! Put it back on!”

“What?” she stuck her tongue out playfully, “Are you telling me you _don’t_ want to look at a hot girl with no top on?”

Her teasing struck a chord inside Adora, so much so that the surge of confidence that swelled up surprised her. Whether it was the alcohol or… _something else_ … that caused it, she barely gave any thought to filtering the retort that spilled from her mouth, “No, that would be nice. You know where I can find one?”

“YES, ADORA, YES!” Glimmer cheered on from the side, marvelling at this hitherto unseen aspect to Adora’s personality, “Drag her, girl!”

“You shut your mouth, Sparkles,” Catra’s intense gaze didn’t move from Adora, and she leapt an impressive distance across the room to knock the blonde girl over onto the bed she was sat on. For a brief time, the feline’s expression was almost frightening; a streak of genuine anger and aggression evident in her face that hinted at her having taken the insult to heart. But preparing herself for some form of punishment, Adora instead saw Catra’s eyes widen, the light perfectly highlighting the colour difference and making them look almost electric as they flashed with a different emotion entirely.

Adora didn’t realise how much she wanted Catra to kiss her until it happened. It was nervous, inexperienced, impulsive; but it felt perfect – it felt right. She’d always felt a stronger connection to Catra than to anyone else, Glimmer included, and as they had matured, the feelings had become muddled. Learning the concept of romantic love was merely a source for more inner turmoil, and Adora opted to bury that anxiety rather than evaluate her feelings, but this kiss… this ill-advised, messy meeting of their lips, it only burned harder than before. And with that burning, the fire of her insecurities raged: she could never be what Catra wanted. If she messed up, it could ruin the best friendship she had ever known, and without that, Adora could only see herself failing.

The battle in her mind continued, so much so that she hadn’t allowed herself to fully take in what was happening, she wasn't savouring the moment. She wanted to protect Catra, to push her away so that they wouldn’t get lost in a mire of unfamiliar feelings that could drive them apart for good; but she also wanted to hold Catra closer, to feel the warmth of her body and the softness of her hair in a new light. The light of someone who was more than a friend. And wouldn’t pushing Catra away now feel like more of a rejection?

In the end, the decision was made for her as Catra pulled away, disbelief painted across her face showing that the kiss was as much a shock to her as it was to Adora. That quickly gave way to fear as the reality of what she had just done began to become clearer, “Fuck… I’m so sorry.”

“Catra…”

Any chance of Adora being able to make sense of her own thoughts enough to tell the girl how she felt was loudly disrupted by Glimmer teleporting uncomfortably close to them both, “Oohhhhhhh! You two just kissed! YEAH!”

“Glimmer, don’t,” Adora tried to push her away, but was met with enthusiastic resistance.

“Glimmer, _do!_ I’ve been waiting for you two to get together for, like, ages. You’re literally the only people who haven’t noticed it, I mean, even _Bow_ is like ‘what do you mean they aren’t a couple’ and you know what he-”

Catra snapped at her, brandishing a clawed hand inches from her face, “Sparkles, shut your mouth before I shut it for you! Let’s just… let’s just forget it happened, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Angella has some difficult conversations


	7. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning to Bright Moon, Catra, Adora and Glimmer have a lot to face up to. And the news won't be easy for Angella either.

The air was thick with tension as Micah and the girls made the journey back to Bright Moon the following morning, and all three were loath to reveal much to the King about why. He assumed, from the fact that they were using Glimmer and himself as a barrier, that Adora and Catra had had some kind of falling out, but any conversation he tried to start was shut down rapidly. _Nothing’s happened. We’re fine._ If that were true, the pair were doing little to back up their words. The silence and seeming inability for each of them to even acknowledge the other’s existence seemed to speak more to him that anything they could say.

As soon as they were spotted on the horizon, one of the palace guards sprinted along the path towards them, accosting them with a breathless explanation that they were required to meet with the Queen the moment they arrived home. Adora, fearing they were in trouble either from the sword incident or that Angella had somehow found out about them drinking, cast a nervous glance towards Catra, who turned away the instant their eyes met. Even Glimmer seemed worried, and she was used to lengthy groundings or being forced to help out around the castle to atone for misbehaviour. Adora had only even been in big trouble once when she was caught stealing Micah’s staff as part of a game of dares with Catra and Glimmer. She’d cried for a solid hour after being told off and grounded for a week by Angella.

Their fears were, however, at least initially unfounded as they were ushered into the dining room where the Queen awaited them with a gentle smile rather than the expected scowl. She invited the girls to take their seats on the opposite side of the table to where she sat, the Sword of Protection laid in front of her. As Adora approached it, she could feel the air starting to hum and her fingers tingling with its power, an inescapable reminder of the daunting role that had been forced upon her. If Angella was going to allow her to be She-Ra, it piled on the pressure to be the perfect hero she’d read about; if the Queen planned to keep the sword away from her, should she try to fight it? Would the saviour of Etheria just let someone take away the source of her power?

“Glimmer, Adora, Catra,” Angella began, looking at each of them in turn. The smile began to fade, however, as she recounted what happened the day before, “I was extremely disappointed in all of you yesterday. I had forbidden you to go near that sword for reasons that I imagine you now fully understand. Having considered the impact of what we now know about Adora, I think the wisest course of action is to keep the sword secure until she is more capable of handling that level of power, if ever that happens.”

 _Incapable. Inadequate. Not good enough._ That was what Adora took away from Angella’s words. It was an almost automatic reaction for her brain to find the hidden criticisms in people’s words and use them as evidence to fuel her own self-doubt. No amount of perfect test scores or praise from authority figures would ever be able to convince her that she was anything other than a below-average person who just got lucky, and that the respect people had for her could be taken away in an instant when they realised. She even found herself questioning Catra and Glimmer’s friendship, despite the overwhelming evidence that they _did_ like her for more than what she could achieve in the classroom or how she could help them with their own work. Now Angella was making it plain to all: being She-Ra was something she wasn’t good enough for and may never be.

The Queen continued on, “I will be taking this sword to the armoury, where it will be kept in a highly secure cabinet. There will be a dedicated guard at all times, so if you think you’ll be able to sneak in and steal it, you are wrong. I have also removed the weapons from your room, Glimmer.”

“How did you …I mean, what weapons?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” Angella glared at her daughter in such a way that Glimmer couldn’t quite be sure whether she was angry or impressed, “As of this moment all of you are forbidden from entering the armoury without my permission, is that understood?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Yes, mum.”

“Whatever.”

Though Catra’s response seemed indifferent, it hid her relief at knowing that She-Ra was, at least for now, gone. The sword symbolised her deepest insecurity: that Adora would be so successful in life it would break them apart. It was a certainty hammered into her from her earliest memories by Shadow Weaver – Adora was the star of their cadet team, the one who would go on to greatness, and the measure of her success would be how far and how quickly she got away from Catra. That was what the old woman used to emphasise constantly, that Catra’s continued existence was temporary, reliant on Adora’s not having yet realised that she didn’t need her. They were both waiting, each with a very different type of anticipation, for the day that Adora moved on. Even coming to Bright Moon, and having to re-learn the balance of their friendship and her worth as a person being dependent on more than just Adora, Catra could never quite free herself of the belief that it was only a matter of time. Discovering that she was She-Ra reignited that fear, that Adora was about to realise she didn’t need Catra because she had this incredible power, and the thought of being alone scared her.

“I advise all of you to forget about the sword, and about She-Ra for the time being,” Angella’s ‘advice’ was spoken more akin to an order, and clearly intended as such, “Now, with that cleared up, I shall let you get on with whatever you want to do.”

“Adora…” Glimmer coughed unconvincingly whilst looking directly at Catra, who took a moment to realise that she was referring to the events of the previous night and retaliated with an elbow to the Princess’ stomach.

Their run-in did not go un-noticed by the Queen, “Have I missed something?”

“They kissed last night,” Glimmer ignored the death stare she was getting from Catra, though Adora’s look of terror almost made her reconsider, “Like full-on kissed. I thought Catra was gonna eat her face or something, she was really going for-”

Angella raised a hand to silence her, “Yes, Glimmer, I get the picture. Is this true?”

Adora nodded timidly, as much unable to lie to anyone in authority as she was unable to speak in that moment. She wasn’t sure what view the woman would take of the news – but her presumption was that they were both in a lot of trouble. She’d let this kiss happen at the worst possible time, a week from an important sorcery exam, and had allowed them both to be distracted away from work by it. It was a near-certainty that they would be told to immediately break off any sort of romantic connection, though at least that would mean that she wouldn’t have to decide what to do herself.

“Could you leave us, Glimmer?”

“Sure,” she pulled Catra and Adora’s heads closer to her own, giving a parting shot before she teleported away, “Have fun, lovebirds!”

Angella let her gaze wander around the room as she tried to plan what she had to say. She had suspected that this day would come for years; right from the first years after the two arrived in Bright Moon, it was clear that their friendship ran deeper than most. Of course, at 6 or 7 years old it was innocently endearing things like the way they were constantly holding hands, or how Catra would only sleep if she was in the same bed as Adora. As they grew up, the way they acted with each other only got more intense – they were very physical, always touching each other to show affection in a way that they only did with each other, much less so with Glimmer despite their close friendship. Then when they reached their teens, this bubbled over into outright flirting, especially from Catra, so it was only a matter of time before something happened. Angella had just hoped it would have been a little further into the future so she would have had the time to properly prepare for the talk, “Right, um… I imagine that in your biology lessons you will have studied the, er, changes that your bodies are going through?”

“Tits, hips, bonus hair, and then once a month, rage comes out the top and blood comes out the bottom. We got that,” Catra’s pithy response knocked the Queen off her trail of thought.

“Um… I… I do hope they are teaching you better than that,” stumbling over her words did little to ease the mood, “No, what I mean to say is that you will probably be having some… feelings towards each other. And that’s fine! That’s absolutely… fine… It’s just, if you are thinking about… uh, acting upon those feelings in a way that is… uh, that is to say, _intimate_ …”

The feline gave her a blank stare, “You’re asking if we’re gonna fuck?”

“I caution you to mind your language in front of me, young lady. But, yes, it would be remiss of me not to talk to you about that. You understand that you are still minors, and that sort of thing is strongly discouraged at your age. However, if you are intent on it, you must ensure that you are safe and healthy when, er, doing it.”

“I don’t think we are going to… y’know,” Adora had spent the last five minutes wishing she could be swallowed by a hole in the ground, but given Catra’s blasé attitude, she felt it a better idea to speak up before the feline could say anything that would get them both into more difficulty.

“I understand. However, _if_ you did, it might be good to talk it over beforehand. Now I’m not particularly knowledgeable about how it works for… well, with two women, but if you like I could ask Spinnerella and Netossa to talk to you about how to… um, well, you know.”

Neither of the two girls could quite be sure whether it was more mentally scarring to have the offer of two Princesses they didn’t know that well explain methods for having sex to them, or seeing Angella’s nervous hand movements trying to imitate… they had no idea _what_ she was trying to indicate. It looked as though the Queen was attempting to mime holding a tennis ball, occasionally enlacing her fingers, and touching together the gaps between them. Both Catra and Adora found themselves staring in horror, unable to focus elsewhere, and the moment Angella realised what she was doing, she hurriedly slammed both hands down on the table.

“Sorry, I don’t know what… Look, just know that either of you can come to me with any questions and I’ll do my best to answer. Or, at least find someone else who is better at it than I am. I hope-”

“Your majesty!” with the loud bang of the door flying open, the General burst into the room, making Adora jump out of her skin whilst Catra looked around leisurely, completely unperturbed by the intrusion, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but you are required urgently to come with me.”

Angella rose to her feet, excusing herself and pausing briefly to reassure the two girls that things would be fine, then followed the General out, leaving the two girls to an uncomfortable silence.

“That was really awkward…” Adora mumbled, daring to glance up at Catra sat beside her, “I’m sorry.”

“What for? It was Glimmer’s fault she couldn’t keep her mouth shut.”

“No, I mean…” she closed her eyes momentarily and sighed, “We need to talk about… about us.”

Catra sat upright in her chair, issuing a silent prayer to whatever God would listen that Adora felt the same way as she did. The signs were all there, she’d been noticing them for a while – the way Adora would gaze at her with a smile when she thought Catra wasn’t looking, the little touches on the arm, the way Adora often used her should to rest her head on when she was tired; and then the way she hadn’t stopped Catra kissing her the night before. But despite the confidence those signals gave her, that’s all they were: signals. Maybe she read too much into them, maybe it was all in her head and Adora didn’t see her that way.

“Catra, I like you; I really do. And it might be… love,” she seemed to struggle to get the last word out, which didn’t seem like an encouraging sign to Catra.

“I’m sensing a ‘but’…”

Adora eyes fell to the floor. She could barely bring herself to continue, knowing how much it would hurt both of them. There had been very little else on her mind throughout the morning beyond trying to reconcile her feelings for Catra, a task that seemed to send her into a whirlpool of thoughts that swirled around a central emotion of love. When Adora imagined herself and Catra far into the future as a couple, there was a peace in her core, a warmth that came with the realisation that there was someone she could rely on forever. However, when she thought about what came next for the two of them, it introduced some unease and self-doubt. Her own inexperience with any form of relationship fed her worry; Catra would be in the same boat, of course, but she had the self-confidence to carry herself through that Adora lacked. This was unfamiliar territory for both of them, but where Catra approached new things with eagerness and the belief she would succeed, Adora found them terrifying, giving her a much more pessimistic outlook. The rewards of being with Catra romantically were enticing, but the risks were more than she could bear. If she messed things up, she would lose someone vital to her own wellbeing.

“I’m not ready.”

“Oh… Oh!” Catra felt as though the floor had given way underneath her feet, but she did her best not to reveal the extent of her devastation, “No, that’s… um, that’s fair. I guess, er…”

Adora lightly gripped around her wrist, a tender touch that she hoped would serve as a reminder how deeply she cared for Catra, “It’s just… I’ve got studies to focus on, and I’ve never done this before, so I don’t want to screw it up. I don’t hate you or anything, you understand that, right?”

“Of course, of course. I… Yeah, I was thinking the same thing anyway. Not ready, yeah?”

“You’re okay with it?” Adora sensed that Catra hadn’t taken it as well as she was trying to pretend. The girl’s nervous laughter and how she turned her body away as she talked were dead giveaways, but Adora knew how she hated to admit to feelings of sadness, shutting down completely rather than daring to say that she was down or worried.

“Yeah,” she realised how unconvincing that sounded and tried again with more confidence that acted as reassurance for Adora, “Yeah! We’ll wait.”

* * *

The general almost broke into a run as she led Angella towards the war room with urgency, pushing the door with such force that it nearly rebounded off the wall. Around the table, several of the palace guard were frowning over a holographic map teeming with flashing red dots that Netossa was rotating and zooming in upon. They all looked up at the queen, alerted by the loud noise that their arrival had caused.

“Well?” Angella glared, “What is so urgent?”

Netossa abandoned the hologram and took a few steps towards her, “Your majesty. The scouts stationed in the Whispering Woods have just given us word that the Horde have started bringing tanks and extra weapons to their encampment. Though the woods will impede their progress, we believe an attack is likely within the next two weeks.”

“And you’re sure about this?”

The Princess beckoned her over, zooming in on a small part of the map, “There are a dozen tanks surrounding this camp that weren’t there a few days ago. Our scouts report that there will be more supplies arriving soon, indicating that the Horde are not yet ready to launch an assault, but when they are, their location puts them near some of the most accessible parts of the woods. Given the layout of the entire area, if they wanted to attack anywhere else other than Bright Moon, they would not choose this position as a base.”

The Queen paced around the room, anxiously reviewing the current state of the Bright Moon army and how best to block any inroads the Horde may want to make towards them. Although she knew that their job was to defend the kingdom with their lives, after Micah had been captured by the Horde, Angella had found herself almost paralysed with the fear that her orders could send people out to never come home. The months immediately after had seen all but the most essential and relatively safe troops recalled and many units mothballed, the result of her guilt at having her husband back when many could not.

The escalating conflict had to force her hand not long after. In a similar manner to what was happening now, Horde troops had embarked upon a surprise assault on Bright Moon through the Whispering Woods. The kingdom’s lack of preparation that had arisen from her apprehensiveness to send soldiers out had left them vulnerable and disorganised, and though the Horde was vanquished, it came at a cost. Whilst Bright Moon had suffered losses during the war before and after, Angella carried the names of the twelve people lost in that battle more heavily than others, a stark reminder that her actions and orders could both save lives, and cost them. She was still cautious and fearful but acknowledged that she had to act.

“Mobilise our troops and place them at key points in the Woods between the castle and these encampments. If the Horde attack, we must fight back,” Angella faltered, questioning whether she was, once again, sending people to their death, “We have to defend Bright Moon, but we must not be reckless. And I can only hope that the presence of our soldiers will make them consider retreating.”

“We will do everything we can, your majesty,” Netossa could see the fear that the Queen wore upon her face and attempted to give some reassurance, “Spinny and I can support them, and we will make sure everyone comes home. They won't hurt anyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: More Awesome Dad Micah, and horses.


	8. The Weight of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With multiple stresses piling on top of her, Micah takes Adora horseriding to relax her

If there was one thing that the stressful revision sessions in the week leading up to their exam did to help Adora, it was that they took her mind off the situation with Catra. Staying up until the early hours reading, re-reading and re-re-reading was the perfect distraction from having to deal with the fallout from their kiss and her decision to tell Catra she wasn’t ready. She still wasn’t sure that was the right choice, but it was the one that scared her the least. And if spending almost every free moment locked in her bedroom surrounded by books stopped her mind from getting lost in a whirlwind of second thoughts, then she would do just that.

But the worry and the lack of sleep took its toll on her body, and by the morning of the exam, Micah and Angella had become rather concerned for her. Over breakfast, Adora was practically vibrating as her legs filled with anxiety, and she appeared to pay no attention to the conversation, staying lost in thought as she stared at her food. While they knew tests like this would stress Adora out, the King and Queen had never quite seen her this bad and had no choice but to intervene. Micah waited until they had finished, keeping Adora behind after Catra and Glimmer had left so as not to embarrass her in front of them, then took her aside.

“Worried about this afternoon?” he spoke soothingly, giving her a hint of a smile to show that there was no reason to be anxious about their conversation, “You’ll be fine.”

“I guess…” Adora mumbled in response, her vacant tone giving away her true feelings.

“Right, come with me. We’re going to de-stress you.”

“I’M NOT STRESSED!” her yell surprised her as much as it did Micah, and as Adora stared at her trembling hands, she realised just how much the last week had taken out of her, “Oh… maybe…”

Micah took hold of her hand, and brought her towards the door, “I know just the thing. Let’s go to the stables.”

The first time Adora ever saw a horse was a month after she and Catra had arrived at Bright Moon. Angella and Micah were taking the two of them, along with Glimmer, for a picnic in the hope that a calmer, quieter atmosphere might help them adjust to their new home a little more easily. Those weeks after their rescue were terrifying for the two youngsters, and the tension was high between Adora’s constant crying and Catra’s fearful lashing out at people. The castle, with its brightly coloured rooms, friendly talkative people and relaxed atmosphere proved to be a stark and sudden change to their lives, and they reacted in the only way they knew how. Being taken away from everything they knew was much scarier than either had expected.

Unbeknownst to them, both Angella and Micah were becoming extremely worried for the two girls, with most attempts to show them they were safe in their new home ending in tears – often Glimmer’s when Catra hit her, which in turn set Adora going out of fear that Catra was going to be severely punished for it. Micah had tried the friendly approach, acting like their best friend and trying to tempt them into playing games or coming down for dinner, which occasionally worked, but the moment either of them set foot in a busy room full of people, their fright took over again. Trying to imitate what she knew of the Horde’s strict regimen in the hope that the girls would better respond to that failed for Angella too, at the first order, her slightly raised voice sent Adora running to her room and she didn’t see her for over a week after that.

The King and Queen were almost at the end of their tether in their endeavours to acclimatise Catra and Adora to their new life in the castle, and, though they each hated themselves for entertaining the idea, had even considered whether returning them to the Fright Zone would be easiest. But knowing what that would inflict upon them, with Micah’s own experience of how awful Shadow Weaver could be coupled with the things they had extrapolated from the way the girls acted and what they had said, neither could send them back and maintain a good conscience. This did, however, give Micah the idea that maybe some time outside the palace would benefit their new arrivals; maybe an environment that was more peaceful, more relaxed and less structured than Bright Moon life, where they weren’t constantly interrupted by deferent people reinforcing their status, would be what Catra and Adora needed to warm up to being in their care. To that end, the King and Queen planned a picnic in the fields towards the rear of Bright Moon, far enough away to allow them to spend time away from the noise of the castle.

It took over an hour of gentle coaxing and reassuring before both girls stepped outside the building, the unfamiliarity of the lesser-used side entrance proving to be quite a hurdle for Adora. Angella had to step in and out through the door several times to demonstrate that there was nothing harmful outside before the young girl, still shaking with fear and uncertainty, followed her out. Their route away from the castle happened to take them past the stables, and what the six-year-old Adora saw there stopped her in her tracks, pointing at the unusual beast that stood idly chewing at the grass in a paddock. She was transfixed, stood static in amazement until Micah explained that the creature was a horse and that she could go and meet it if she wanted.

Adora was initially rather scared, needing verbal and physical encouragement from Micah to get closer, but when she finally reached out to touch the animal, the “Wow, this is so amazing!” that escaped her mouth was a breakthrough. The King and Queen exchanged a look of wonder at hearing the girl become so animated, and it was the most they’d heard her say since she had arrived, and by far the loudest she had spoken. Their picnic plan was rapidly halted as they attempted to forge a connection between Adora and the horse, in the hope that it would prove to be the key that helped her adjust. Thankfully, this particular horse was one of the most calm and friendly that they kept in the stables, so was perfect for her to get to know. Micah even lifted her up to sit on it, revelling in the joy radiating from the wide smile across Adora’s face that suggested there was a speck of hope to her integration in Bright Moon.

Her pleasure was sadly short lived. While Adora’s confidence had been growing through the focus on this horse, so too had Catra’s fear of being abandoned. Not only had she been watching Micah and Angella focusing heavily on Adora and not caring about her, just like Shadow Weaver used to, but Adora had now found something clearly better than her. This creature had captured Adora’s attention, her love, and Catra felt that she was about to lose her. The fear built in her, tensing up her muscles to the point where she could feel her arms shaking and terror taking over her thoughts. And as happened so many times, this panic drove her past the point she could cope. No longer having much control over her actions, Catra ran up to the horse, raising her arms up high and pushed Adora off, the girl crashing to the ground and landing painfully.

Despite suffering a broken arm, it didn’t hurt Adora’s enthusiasm for all things equine, and once she had recovered, Micah regularly took her down to the stables to see them. Already a skilled equestrian himself, the King began to teach Adora how to ride, and she took to it quickly. While still acutely shy and nervous around the castle, horse riding was the one time the girl came out of her shell and enjoyed herself. As she got older, and competent enough to go riding on her own, heading out on a horse was one of the ways she could reduce her stress levels, and it was this Micah was counting upon to help her to calm her before the exam.

After putting on their riding gear and mounting up, Adora on her favourite, a light grey horse with a darker mane, the two of them set out along a trail that skirted the edge of the mountains outside Bright Moon. Initially moving at a relaxed trot, Adora’s stress subconsciously got her moving faster and faster, to the point where Micah had to call her back before she disappeared into the distance. She turned around with a sheepish look upon seeing the distance that had opened up between them and, after he caught up, stayed alongside at a slow speed.

“Look, Adora, you really don’t need to worry about this exam. You’re an incredibly intelligent girl and you could pass it in your sleep.”

She shook her head at how badly he had misread the depth of her anxiety over it, “You know that’s not enough. Everyone’s expecting me to be top of the class.”

“Who’s expecting that?” Micah knew that the person who put the most pressure on Adora was herself. She always had done, and though he and Angella made a conscious effort not to add to it, her own expectations were always sky high. It was never enough for her to just get by, nor even to do well; to Adora, being perfect was almost an obsession.

“Just…y’know, everyone,” she wasn’t sure how better to explain, “Like… Catra and Glimmer, I guess. And you and Angella. Just… everyone.”

“Adora, listen to me,” he pulled his horse alongside her, closing the gap that had opened up as they slowly rode along, “Angella, me, Catra, Glimmer, _everyone_ – more than anything we want you to be happy. Of course we want you to do well in your studies, and we’re so proud that you do, but if that comes at the cost of your wellbeing, then, quite frankly, we’d rather you fail. I said this to Catra the other day, and I say this to you as well: you are worth more than your schoolwork. To come from a home where you witnessed awful things day in, day out, to be suddenly plunged into an unfamiliar and scary new life and then work hard to learn and become such a clever young woman is nothing short of a miracle. Whether you barely scrape a pass or get 100% won’t change how much any of us love you, or what we think of you. Understand?”

Adora said nothing, but her thoughts were pounding to be let out. This exam had become a lightning rod for her worries about She-Ra, about her role in the world… about Catra. She had used her obsessive revision to block out and push down thoughts about everything else, and now she had a chance to voice them. Her confidence, however, failed her. Micah wouldn’t want to be bothered by all this, he’d think she was ungrateful or something – Adora had been handed an opportunity to be Etheria’s saviour and wield unimaginable power, yet she spent so much time wishing it hadn’t happened; she’d been given the chance to be in a relationship with someone she loved, but had given Catra the brush-off. The fact that she had turned down things that others yearned for their entire lives was a guilt that made her feel selfish.

Adora’s silence communicated more than she imagined though, and Micah reached over to lay a hand on her shoulder, “It’s not just the exam, is it?”

“No…”

“What’s wrong?”

The girl took a deep breath, intending to give only a few words about what was bothering her, but a week of anxiety overtook her, surprising them both, “I don’t want to be She-Ra! I wish it had never happened because I’m never going to be good enough to do all this stuff she’s supposed to do. I mean, look at me, I don’t know how to fight with a sword, all I know is how to pass exams. And now I’m supposed to save the planet? How the hell do I do that? Etheria is going to fall to the Horde completely and it’ll be my fault because I can’t be the hero it needs. And then I told Catra I wanted to wait to be her girlfriend, but I don’t, I was simply scared that I’ll screw it up. But what if she can’t wait, and finds someone else and I lose her forever? I’ll probably never find another girlfriend – who would even want me? I can barely talk to people and I spend all my time working, I’m no good to anyone. I don’t even know _why_ Catra likes me. I just want this all to not be happening.”

Micah stopped suddenly and dismounted, Adora doing the same a few feet ahead when she noticed. He beckoned her over, and for a moment, stood smiling with a hand on each of her shoulders, the silence broken only by a few noises from their horses. Adora could only meet his eyes for a moment before the fear that she had said too much and bothered him renewed her feeling of shame. She was supposed to be the one that didn’t give him and Angella any trouble; they had enough to worry about with the stress that Catra and Glimmer gave them, and having to deal with her little tantrums as well would be a burden.

“Adora,” he spoke softly, trying to calm her, “Thank you.”

“Thank… what? Why?”

“For telling me everything, I know that’s difficult for you, but now I know, I can help. “

She forced a smile and a weak chuckle, “You don’t need to… I’m fine.”

“Adora, there’s no shame in needing help. Let’s find somewhere to sit down and we’ll talk this through.”

* * *

By the time Adora was sat at her desk inside the castle’s school, she was almost at peace with herself. She had spent over an hour talking with Micah, and though it didn’t fix all that much of the things she was worried about, he had helped her to be able to put things aside and focus on one thing at a time. Most importantly, the King had reassured her that the planet would be fine to wait for her to grow and mature into someone more confident before taking on the role of She-Ra, and that he would accept the responsibility for the delay. They were just words, it wasn’t as though anyone would ever come to him to challenge that decision, but to Adora it meant everything. Responsibility was something she never felt able to give up – it would have resulted in people, mainly Catra, getting hurt back when she was in the Horde – and that lead to others branding her as ‘mature’ and ‘adult’, and giving her even more to be responsible for. To have Micah take some of the accountability away from her was a weight lifted from her neck, even if it was only symbolic.

Now her head had a little less to worry about, she was able to concentrate much better on the exam in front of her. The first question was a simple one about the history of Mystacor, and Adora had covered half a page on it within about five minutes. The next few concerned themselves with identifying several types of magic and runes, again something she had no struggle in answering. As she moved onto the long essay question, a comparison of the efficacy of different methods of invisibility spells, the attention of everyone in the room was distracted by a deafening noise that shook the building.

“Everyone stay where you are,” the sorcerer overseeing the exam hurried towards the door, “I’ll check what that was, please continue.”

He did not make it outside the room, however, as the door flew open, almost hitting him in the face, and several guards ran in. One of them sprinted to the desk at front, giving panicked instructions to the students, “Everybody needs to leave and go somewhere safe! Bright Moon is under attack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I conceived this series from the notes I'd been given about the idea, I figured that jumping to them being teenagers would mean that we wouldn't get much in the way of their younger lives at Bright Moon. But as I've been writing, there have been some perfect places to introduce snippets of them adjusting to their new home, as there has been here. I think we'll get a bit of Catra's road to feeling happy there at some point too.
> 
> Next time: Fighting! And someone's been watching from afar...


	9. Be Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Horde attacking Bright Moon, Adora wonders if the sword could help turn the tide of battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, this one was a bit longer than I intended!

The dimly lit and dusty wine cellar underneath the castle was not the most dignified of places for Glimmer, Adora and Catra to be, but it was one of the safest. When the first Horde missile hit the castle walls, they were rushed straight there in a panic by the Queen’s personal guard in order to ensure their protection. Angella was waiting for them when they arrived, explaining that Bright Moon was under attack by Horde forces.

“No matter what happens, no matter what you hear, do _not_ leave until I tell you to,” though Angella’s voice was as calm as she could make it, the pressure of needing to return to the battle and protect Bright Moon infused the rapid way she spoke, “I will come and check on you when I can, but this is going to be a difficult fight. I love you all, don't forget that.”

“Mum…” Glimmer grasped her mother’s hand, tugging her back from the stairway up to the ground floor, “What about She-Ra?”

The Queen shut her down right away, “No. It would be dangerous to put Adora through something like this when she’s not ready. I’m not going to do that.”

“Please? What if you get hurt?”

“No, Glimmer,” she pulled away, beginning to ascend the stairs, “Just stay here until I tell you it’s safe. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Though she remained silent, Adora was relieved that Angella wasn’t considering using She-Ra. As they were being rushed from their exam, through the chaos of the castle, her mind was swamped with the fear that the she would be asked to use the sword. That the situation would become so dire, the Bright Moon forces overwhelmed and the kingdom about to fall, that she would be the only option left. And if that happened, Adora knew she would fail everyone. She didn’t know how to fight – she’d never even held a sword before the time she transformed, let alone used one in a battle – and to be thrust into the spotlight with the fate of Bright Moon on her shoulders would only lead to disappointment. She would be fighting under the weight of the expectation that She-Ra was going to save everybody, that she alone could defeat an army. When her complete lack of experience showed and she, too, was defeated, that would be the end of Bright Moon. And it would be her fault.

“At least we didn’t have to do the sorcery exam,” Catra swallowed her fear, replacing it with a smirk, “Look on the bright side.”

“Shut up, Catra!” Glimmer scolded, the weight of the situation making her more tense and quicker to anger, resulting in her antagonistic tone, “You think there’s gonna be a bright side when you’re taken back to the Fright Zone and smacked around by Shadow Weaver again?”

The look on the girl’s face said more than her silence. A wide-eyed expression of shock and a hint of fear in her open mouth told Glimmer that she may have overstepped a line.

“Sorry, Catra, I-”

A flash of memories from the Black Garnet Chamber sparked through Catra’s conscience, and she instinctively clenched her fist, breathing deeply until the feeling of dread had passed. She glared angrily at Glimmer and spoke with a loaded calmness, “You don’t get to say things like that. You have no idea what it was like.”

“Yeah, Glimmer, that was…” Adora lightly laid her hand on Catra’s arm to let her know that she was on her side, but it was slapped away, “Ow! What did I do?”

“Don’t stand there acting like you were an angel!” there was a venom in her voice that Adora had rarely seen directed at her, “When did you _actually_ put yourself in harm’s way for me? You never did anything that would risk you stop being her favourite.”

“Catra, please! It wasn’t like that, you _know_ -”

“What I _know_ is that you only helped when it wasn’t going to put you at any disadvantage. You only defended me when Shadow Weaver wasn't angry so that you wouldn’t get told off. You’ve always looked after yourself before anyone else.”

Adora’s gaze dropped, and she tuned out of the continuing conversation between the other two girls. She couldn’t find much wrong in what Catra was saying – there were so many times that she ended up helplessly watching Shadow Weaver hurt the girl because fear paralysed her and she stayed silent. She’d wanted to intervene, to shout at the woman to stop, to use her own body as a shield; but the worry of what that would result in meant she could only stand frozen, desperately willing the tears to stay in her eyes. It wasn’t just her own safety she was scared for – if she was no longer on Shadow Weaver’s good side, then Catra would no longer have that thin layer of protection. There had been numerous times that the old woman had made it clear that if she weren’t Adora’s friend, Catra’s life would have been at risk, and if Shadow Weaver was angry at Adora, there was no telling what would happen.

Still, however, she could understand why Catra felt she stood idly by. That was exactly what she did. If only she had been braver, gathered up the courage to face a situation where she put herself in danger to save someone else. But every time, she had failed to muster up that bravery and Catra had paid the price. Maybe now, she would have acted differently, seen the opportunity to help and stepped in to save others. Maybe she still could. Without saying a word, Adora walked purposefully towards the stairs and began to ascend.

“Adora! You can’t go out there!” Glimmer ran over and grabbed her waist to stop her moving, “It’s dangerous.”

“What you said was true, Glim; they need She-Ra.”

The Princess’ eyes pleaded with her to stay, “No, my mother was right. You can’t be She-Ra, you haven’t had any training for battle. If you go out there, you could get hurt or…. worse…”

“I’ve spent my entire life hiding from the slightest danger, standing by while people got hurt when I could have helped them,” her eyes darted across to Catra, “But I was wrong. I can help them – I’m not sure how, but hopefully She-Ra will make it better – and that’s what I need to do for once.”

“Is this about what I said to you?” Catra stood beside Glimmer with the same begging look in her eyes, taking hold of Adora’s hand with a tender touch, “That was just stress, I’m sorry, I was… I’m scared our home will be destroyed. I’m scared the Horde will take over, and we’ll be back there with Shadow Weaver. But if you stay, at least I don’t have to be scared of losing you too. Please, Adora…”

Adora gave the widest, most loving smile she’d ever seen, rubbing her thumb along the side of Catra’s hand, “I know you’re frightened; I am too. But we both need to be brave.”

Their hands parted, Catra stretching out to prolong the contact, and Adora, desperately trying to push down her fear, opened the cellar door. The noise from outside flooded the small room with its volume as shouts of soldiers, loud bangs and the ensuing splash of debris hitting the ground lost the insulation of the thick wooden barrier and became real. The sound of the chaos would have been enough to drown out Catra’s fraught pleas for Adora to stay had her own terrified thoughts not done the same. She knew what she was doing was almost certainly a bad idea, but she felt the need to prove to Catra, to prove to herself, that she was not someone who wanted to harm others through inaction. Even an inexperienced She-Ra was powerful, should she deny the Bright Moon troops that power in such dire circumstances?

Fighting off every instinct she had, Adora headed towards the noise of the explosions that rocked the building. There was something about the toppled statues, smashed decorations, and partially demolished walls she walked past that made the situation feel painfully raw, so overwhelmingly daunting. This wasn’t a dream, nor a story someone was telling her; this was her home, in true danger of becoming another Horde complex if there the assault continued. Bright Moon needed a miracle. Maybe Adora could be that miracle.

Clambering her way over the debris that littered the hallway, she soon found her way to the castle’s main entrance, where Micah and about thirty soldiers were frantically trying to fend off a Horde tank and several troops. The castle may have been surrounded by the defensive field that Angella was powering, but every fire of the cannon made it look weaker and weaker. The King, catching a glimpse of movement in his periphery, couldn’t hide his fear when he noticed Adora.

“What are you doing out here?! Get back inside!”

“I want to help.”

“Adora, no!” he paused to conduct another spell, which flew forward, knocking over one of the Horde troops, “It’s too dangerous for you out here, there’s nothing you can do right now.”

It took several moments, closing her eyes and struggling to calm herself, before she gathered the confidence to say what she needed to, “I know I can’t do anything. But She-Ra can.”

“Ado-” the force field began to splutter and flash and Angella’s power began to reach its limits. Though Micah fought with powerful magic, it was barely able to hold up against the more technologically-advanced Horde machines, and he could see the light building inside the turret as the tank prepared to fire on the weakened defences. He had a split-second to react, leaping towards Adora and clattering them both to the ground while the laser fire sped through the space they had occupied moments before, blasting a hole in the castle wall.

Micah agreed with his wife that Adora was not ready for the role of She-Ra, that she needed to be afforded the opportunity for as normal a childhood as possible. They had already sketched out a rough plan to ready her for the responsibility and power – she would first need to improve her confidence and self-belief, then began more physical training with the Bright Moon troops. Only then would they consider reuniting her with the sword, keeping an extremely close eye on her as she acclimatised herself to the immense power it brought. She-Ra could be a wonderful, transformative thing for Adora if he and Angella looked after her on her journey; without guidance, the shock could seriously harm her. But if Bright Moon fell, that wouldn’t be possible – and how long could they keep She-Ra a secret from an evil organisation that would literally kill to wield a weapon so powerful?

Even though his decision was made, Micah had no idea whether it was the correct one as his hands swiped through the air to cast a small spell, “This is the key to the sword. Do what you need to.”

He pushed the drawn spell over to Adora, and it hovered in front of her stomach. She stared down at the glowing runes, her mind in turmoil, “I’m scared, Micah.”

“I know, me too,” the King kissed her forehead and brought her into a hug, “Let’s both be brave, okay?”

* * *

The sword seemed bigger than Adora remembered, but the feeling of being near it was exactly as she recalled. Her body buzzed, as though electricity was flowing through her, and the hairs on her arm stood on end. Her feet felt disconnected from the ground, like she was floating. A rapid fire of different emotions raced through her mind: the fear of losing her home, the anger at herself for letting Catra get hurt through her own indecision, the determination that she wouldn’t let Bright Moon fall, and the worry that She-Ra would make things worse. But she refused to let it stop her. Even if it was just once in her life, Adora would not let her own fears hurt the people she cared about.

Pressing the rune key Micah had given her to the case that housed the sword, Adora tried calming herself with thoughts of the peaceful life that she would be returning to once She-Ra, hopefully, had helped win the battle. Spending her days in lessons, rapt in lectures on everything from sorcery to Etheria’s greatest literature, and her evenings with Catra and Glimmer chatting in one of their bedrooms. The family mealtimes, staying up until the early hours with her best friends, and horse-riding out along the trails. The tranquillity of the life she wanted, away from conflict and, more importantly, without She-Ra. This was a one-off.

“For the honour of Grayskull,” her words were whispers, as though encouraging the sword to be gentle with her, but the result was the same as the previous time she had spoken them. And though she knew roughly what to expect this time, looking down to find the floor further away than she was used to was still a surprise. So too were the boots that had materialised around her feet, the shorts that had replaced her trousers and the gold and white dress that now covered her. The crown was the weirdest part – she had nothing on her head before, now she did, yet there was not a single feeling that she could pinpoint as the moment it appeared. It was like it had always been part of her. 

Adora knew she had little time to wonder about her transformation, however, with more explosions rocking the building and knocking furniture over even this far inside. The doubts in her mind resurfaced; how she had no idea how to fight, the risk of failure, the expectation of everyone that She-Ra would swoop in and fix everything. But maybe those were Adora’s fears, and maybe Bright Moon needed She-Ra more than it needed Adora right now.

Sprinting through the corridors, she quickly reached the front line where Micah and his troops were stood, still fighting tirelessly. Adora paused momentarily to give herself a little protection – it was a barrier spell that Micah had taught her, something that would conjure a small, but fairly fragile, force field around her body. In reality, it would not stand up to more than a couple of hits of laser fire, but it would at least give Adora a little more confidence at running straight into danger. Her hands trembled as she traced out the spell, infusing it with power.

“What the…?” Adora’s jaw dropped as her hands began to glow, and the small barrier she intended to create expanded outward like a wave, enveloping the Bright Moon fighters with an almost blinding glow of light. Micah turned to see where the surge of magic had originated from, gasping audibly when he saw She-Ra. Unlike his wife, he was not present for her first transformation, and had never laid eyes on the warrior before, save for in the storybooks he had read. His spellbound stare was the clearest indication of the trouble he had reconciling the warrior stood there with the girl he treated like a daughter. She was taller, stronger, radiating an immense power that was at once intimidating and calming; it was Adora, yet it wasn’t Adora.

“You look… I… I don’t have words, Adora.”

She shrugged, being in the same situation as the King. There was no way to describe the contradiction of feeling so powerful yet powerless, brave yet scared and angry but calm. This was her make-or-break moment, the time where she would either save her loved ones or fail them. Adora’s inexperience showed in the impulsive way she began to run towards the Horde tank, charging without any thought as to tactical positioning or awareness of the enemy troops. Instead, rage took over, forcing her forward until she was near enough to leap into the air and spearing her sword into the barrel of the tank.

As she watched the smoke begin to pour out from the vehicle, frozen in a moment of disbelief that it was her who had caused it, her ears picked up the slight whine of a weapon, barely audible above the commotion around her. Adora reeled around, too late to do anything about the laser fire racing towards her. In the fraction of a second that she had before it hit, she could only rebuke herself for her failure. She knew it would happen, she knew that she could only let people down as She-Ra, and yet she-

Both Adora and the soldier who had fired upon her stared in astonishment at her upper arm, where the laser had hit and left only a slight scorch mark. These were powerful weapons that should have knocked her flying and left her unconscious at best, yet Adora’s body had absorbed its force as though she had merely been hit by a tennis ball.

The soldier’s jaw dropped, “Wh… what are you?”

Adora wordlessly waved her hands in the air in front of her, drawing out a spell. Micah hadn’t taught her any spells for attacking, but she had read a little ahead in her sorcery textbook and found the chapter about knockback spells. This one she had learnt rather quickly, practising by knocking piles of clothes off her bed, and she thought that sending the soldier crashing to the floor would be appropriate revenge for shooting her.

“I am She-Ra,” she sneered as the spell completed, then pushed the glowing runes towards the soldier. Her image of him falling to the ground proved to be a little off, however, as She-Ra’s power energised the spell and sent the soldier soaring at high speed through the air, eventually landing in the moat surrounding the castle several hundred feet away. Adora’s hand covered her mouth, “Oh crap, I didn’t mean to…”

A hand on her shoulder cut short her apology, as another helmeted soldier attacked, reeling their fist back to land a punch on Adora. She ducked, and the soldier fell off balance, allowing her to take advantage and hold them on the floor, the end of her sword pointed threateningly at their face.

“Please don’t! Please don’t kill me!”

Her piercing stare not wavering, Adora wrenched the blade away, leaving the soldier on the ground, terrified, while she dealt with the other troops and tanks that were beginning to gather around. She-Ra made light work of disabling the vehicles, the sword easily piercing through the armour and destroying the electronics inside. Several of the more courageous soldiers came forward to try and stop the warrior, but were no match for her might, a quick spell or swipe of the sword besting them easily. Somehow, though Adora could not comprehend why, she excelled at fighting with the blade, as though it was muscle memory, despite never having used one in her life.

It was not long before the castle was left in peace, the Horde army concentrating their efforts on trying to overcome this unknown Princess. But with their weapons proving near useless and soldier after soldier coming off worse in their encounters with her, the order to retreat was soon given. The incapacitated tanks were simply abandoned in place as the troops fled as fast as they could, and a quietness once again descended upon Bright Moon. Watching the final soldiers disappear back into the forest, Adora dropped the sword, returning to her usual form as Micah caught up with her.

“Oh, Adora, that was incredible!”

The weight of what she had done, almost single-handedly, caught up with her and she struggled to speak. All trace of her bravery and confidence had vanished, and Adora’s more usual shyness and aversion to any attention returned. She ran back towards the castle, desperate to return to the shield of the cellar with Catra and Glimmer, where there were fewer eyes on her and people weren’t going to make a fuss.

Micah tried to follow, shouting after her, “Adora! Adora, come back!”

* * *

A green mist bubbled over from the cauldron, filling the dark room. In the centre of the swirling liquid inside, dark magic took the form of the situation outside Bright Moon, connecting to the shadow spies that had accompanied the soldiers on the assault. Though their power would not be enough to remain linked for long, the vision that the darkness produced was more than valuable.

_Adora! Adora, come back!_

Shadow Weaver raised her head from the cauldron, gazing deep into the gloom of the Black Garnet Chamber, “Hmm… I knew you had power, Adora. I just didn’t realise it was this great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Adora gets lost in her thoughts (again) and Shadow Weaver begins scheming to bring She-Ra back to the Horde.


	10. No Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora struggles with her worries about She-Ra, leading to a shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one ended up being slightly longer as well :D

_Please don’t! Please don’t kill me!_

From a day that was filled with memories good and bad, this was the one that kept replaying in Adora’s head, keeping her awake at night. The moment that she had stood over a Horde soldier with a sword inches from their neck as they begged for their life. Being so easily able to kill someone was frightening, the fact that for a fleeting moment she wanted to, even more so. Adora knew they were effectively at war, and wars inevitably had casualties and losses on both sides, but the idea that she would cause one was abhorrent. The soldier may have been from the Horde, but there was still a person under the armour; had it not been for Micah, the one pleading to walk away with their life could have been her. It could have been Catra.

Something had changed in Adora’s mind when she became She-Ra, and not something she had control over. She’d lost her fear, her restraint, maybe even her humanity. Whatever the sword did to her, it scared her how much she felt like a different person – a person capable of things Adora would never do. Quiet, shy, hardworking Adora was a world away from the powerful, fearsome warrior She-Ra, yet these two conflicting personalities were a part of her… weren’t they? But the feeling of how simple it would have been to injure, or even kill, was a memory she could not shift, though she had desperately tried. Was this what Angella had warned her about? Did Mara have that feeling too when she stranded the planet? And more importantly, was Adora herself going to tread the same path, hurting everyone she cared about?

A gentle knock at her bedroom door tore Adora from her thoughts, and she gave a half-hearted ‘come in’. The handle clicked and Angella poked her head through the gap, opening the door fully and walking into the room once she saw Adora was not in the middle of anything, and simply laying on her bed.

“How are you feeling today, hero of Bright Moon?”

The words hurt almost physically. Adora wasn’t a hero, nowhere near – she was just a girl thrust into a position of power and responsibility that she never wanted, “I’m tired.”

“I’m not surprised, you must not be used to taking down a whole army,” the Queen perched on the end of the bed, giving a soft smile that seemed to have some knowledge of what Adora was going through, “But I hope you are not too tired to attend a small reception in your honour.”

She turned away, burying her head in a pillow, “No. No, I… I can’t.”

“Yes you can,” Angella’s tone switched from reassuring to commanding, “And you _will._ Be downstairs in the ballroom in an hour.”

The Queen departed without waiting for any response, leaving Adora sat on her bed with a head full of fear. It felt like even more so than usual, her brain was telling her that something bad was going to happen, though she could not quite pin down what it was that worried her. And there was no logical reasoning either – she may have been concerned that the sword was turning her into someone she was not, but with the weapon safely locked away again, it wasn’t going to pose a problem at the reception.

Adora was no hero, anyway. The She-Ra of legend was a brave, powerful warrior who never once shied away from a battle, whereas she was just a girl – a girl who barely talked to anyone but Catra and Glimmer, who preferred to spend her evenings reading rather than going out anywhere. The people who thought they were about to meet some kind of superstar fighter were about to be horribly disappointed once Adora walked into the room. They might even find it scary that someone as inept as her was supposed to be the one to save the planet from the ever-increasing Horde attacks. With Adora trying, and failing, to be She-Ra, Etheria was almost certainly doomed.

* * *

When Adora first entered the extravagant Bright Moon ballroom, one of the only parts of the building entirely undamaged from the Horde attack, there were barely a dozen people present, murmuring quietly amongst themselves as they picked at a buffet of food. A few said a quick thank you to Adora as they walked past, which was a little embarrassing for her, but not unbearable. Before long, however, a steady stream of grateful residents of Bright Moon and further afield filed into the room, the noise level rising and making an increasingly uncomfortable Adora retreat into her own head.

“She-Ra, you’ve come to save us!”

“That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!”

“We can win the war now we’ve got you.”

“Thank you, She-Ra! Thank you so much!”

The rapid fire of compliments from the clamouring masses around her merged into one continuous buzzing, and Adora could no longer pick out individual words. Though the volume was not particularly loud, it felt as though the noise was overwhelming, almost painful to be around. Lights seemed to burn intensely in her eyes, and it blurred her vision of the room around her. Adora was unable to focus on anything, not even the hand she raised in front of her face, and she simply stared straight ahead. Her body seemed to have abandoned her, a vague sensation of emptiness where her legs should have been, and her nerves sending no messages to her brain about the world around her.

What Adora was aware of, however, was an overarching sense of dread, a foreboding that she couldn’t put any logical reason to. It told her she wasn’t safe, that she needed to run – was this a hangover from She-Ra? That the bravery the sword gave her had now vanished and taken what little courage she normally had with it. And she could feel her breaths quickening, her shoulders jerking upward as they became more like gasps, desperate wheezes that didn’t seem able to fill even a fraction of her lungs. _Bup-bup bup-bup bup-bup bup-bup._ Adora’s heartbeat now drowned out the noise of the room. It was fast. Too fast. Something was wrong. She was going to die. This was it. She had to run.

With every effort she had left, Adora willed her body to stand, hoping that somewhere underneath the desperation, her muscles would know how urgently she needed them to respond. The room, now a blurred sea of colour, had disoriented her so much that she no longer knew which way was forward, all she could do was guess. With enormous effort, Adora managed to feel herself parting from the seat of her chair, having to close her eyes as the dizziness hit. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear her name being called, but it was so faint it felt like an echo in her mind. She took a moment to try and calm her breathing, however the instinct to get out as quickly as she could took over. Trying to move her legs seemed to have no effect, and before she could try a second time, a shakiness enveloped her entire body. Adora tried to reach out to balance herself, but before her arm could move the distance to the table, everything went quiet. And dark.

When she opened her eyes again, everything had changed. A different room, this one almost silent, with harsh but not blinding lights above where she now lay. Her body felt different too – less tense, calmer and her thoughts clearer. She was tired though, rather more so than she remembered being, with a definite lethargy in the small movements she made as she attempted to work out where she was.

“Adora?” Angella’s voice reached her half a second before the woman herself appeared, standing over her, “You’re awake, thank goodness.”

“What... What happened?”

The Queen tucked Adora’s hair behind her ear, tenderly holding her palm to the girl’s cheek for a moment, “You’re in the infirmary, you collapsed at the reception. Gave us rather a fright.”

“How? Why?” she still felt a little foggy from her ordeal, but the questions couldn’t wait, “I was… I had to go.”

The door to the room opened, a young woman with jet black hair tied back in a bun entering carrying a small pile of medical equipment. Adora recognised her as the royal family’s doctor, having been to see her several times over the years with minor ailments, which gave her some reassurance that she was not only in good hands, but that she wasn’t going to have to talk to someone she didn’t know. The woman bowed slightly to Angella, the two of them almost swapping places as the doctor neared Adora and the Queen backed away to leave.

“I’ll let the doctor explain everything to you, she’ll be able to give you much more detail than I could,” she moved towards the doorway, stopping with her hand on the door handle. Angella worried about coming off a little cold towards the girl, especially with her having had such a shock, and turned back towards the bed, “And Adora? Everything will be OK.”

In the corridor outside her room, Micah eagerly awaited his wife’s return with positive news about Adora’s condition. After rushing her out of the ballroom, he had taken Glimmer and Catra back to his daughter’s room, much to their annoyance, while he and the Queen waited for Adora to come round. She had only been unconscious for a few minutes, but it was enough to test Micah’s nerves, and he was glad to hear that things were looking up a little.

“She’s awake. The doctor says it was a panic attack.”

The King gently linked his hand into hers, “At least we know what caused it, and we can help her now.”

“She wasn’t ready, Micah,” Angella hesitated to direct any anger at her husband. Even at the most fraught of times, they would always talk things through calmly, priding themselves on setting an example to the kids by not resorting to name-calling and threats. But despite this, the stress and worry of Adora’s collapse had riled her, “How could you have done such a stupid thing?! You let her have the sword? _Look_ what happened!”

“Angie, please,” he brought her closer, immediately calming her with his soothing manner, “We were close to losing, our defences were failing… we could have lost everything. I never wanted her to have to go through that before she was ready, but I saw no other choice. She came to me to offer, and we weren’t in any position to refuse.”

“I know, Micah, I… I suppose I probably would have done the same. But what now? The Horde knows we have She-Ra, and that will only make them want to increase their firepower, send more people – what if it has only put us in more danger?”

Micah had been pondering this exact question for most of the previous day, so the answer came rapidly, unintentionally coming across as irritable, “It won’t! They saw one woman take out an entire army, they’d be crazy to come back, even with more troops and weapons. You should have seen Adora, she was incredible. Look, I know we’re going to wait until she’s older but-”

“But nothing, Micah!” she shut him down with a piercing stare, “I don’t want Adora going near the sword if this is what it does to her. _Ever_ , if necessary.”

“Angie…”

“No. If She-Ra causes this much harm to Adora, then there is no She-Ra,” the Queen turned away, a physical way to tell her husband that this was not up for discussion, “We will not be including her in any of our future plans.”

* * *

Shadow Weaver kneeled. The effects of age, and the destruction that the Spell of Obtainment had ravaged on her body made it difficult, painful even, and she had long since resolved that there was only one person she would kneel for. Lord Hordak was the one who saw her true potential, and he had rewarded her with the Black Garnet, once the runestone of the Scorpion kingdom and now the source of power she desperately needed. Though her deference to the Horde leader was more born of necessity than actual respect, she was willing to yield some authority to him if it meant having near limitless magical power. Power that she could use to keep herself in his good graces, not to mention showing those who never believed in her just how wrong they were.

“Rise, Shadow Weaver,” Hordak’s voice boomed around the cavernous throne room, every word enunciated as though it were the most important part of the sentence. The way he spoke was designed to intimidate, as was everything about the man – the red eyes that glowed in the darkness, the armour-clad body that seemed pointless for someone who never saw combat – and the throne room, with its staircase that put him well above everyone who would have cause to enter. No-one in the Horde would have cause for any doubt about their place with Hordak.

“My Lord…” she began, loudly groaning as she stood.

“Silence! Your foolish plan has cost us substantial amounts of equipment, not to mention several injured troops. Am I to understand you did not consider that Bright Moon was under the protection of this She-Ra, this Princess?”

Shadow Weaver gazed upward, determined eye contact showing that she would not allow herself to take the blame, “She-Ra was supposed to be a myth, a fairy tale that they used to tell children so that they would behave.”

“I do not suffer defeat to ‘fairy tales’!” Hordak’s raised voice revealed how rattled he truly was about the appearance of such a powerful Princess. The Horde had been making great strides in its attempt to conquer Etheria, but the appearance of She-Ra could prove to be a major stumbling block, costing him time that he did not have to waste. Taking over the planet was merely the beginning of a much greater plan, though that was not even for Shadow Weaver to know just yet. He calmed himself before continuing, “I want this Princess gone. You may use any means you deem necessary to destroy her.”

“My Lord, I… I know who She-Ra is,” her voice was infused with something approaching remorse. She had known from the moment that Adora was found that there was something unusual, something powerful about her, and yet after Micah had taken her, Shadow Weaver did little about it. Outwardly, she would explain her inaction by dismissing the children as ungrateful brats who would never have amounted to anything anyway – that was true enough for Catra, and she merely had to direct the same energy towards Adora. Deep down, however, she didn’t believe a rescue mission to be worth the cost. Bright Moon was well defended at the time, more so after the King’s capture, and despite the schism between them, she trusted Micah to raise Adora well. All Shadow Weaver needed to do was to wait and see if her intuition that Adora was special came true; now it had.

“You _know_ who She-Ra is?” Hordak repeated her words back incredulously, “Explain yourself.”

“She was my ward… the one who was abducted by King Micah.”

The bombshell sent the room into a tense silence, Shadow Weaver waiting to see how the Horde leader would respond. He was always a difficult man to read, giving the same low, deep voice and intonation for most emotions, except for the explosions of anger that he was often prone to. Those were terrifying for most of the Horde’s personnel, though Shadow Weaver’s steadfast refusal to cower as the others did had given him a respect for her that he afforded to few others.

“Do you mean to tell me that you _lost_ a powerful weapon to the Rebellion and did nothing to return her to your care?” he spoke calmly, but there was a clear anger threaded throughout every word, “You just _let_ her leave?”

“I didn’t know about her abilities. But I will return her to your side, I promise.”

Hordak stood and slowly paced down the steps towards her, “And how will you do that? She has defeated an entire army single-handedly; do you think she will allow herself to be captured?”

“Oh my Lord,” Shadow Weaver almost broke into a laugh, a self-congratulatory cackle for the plan she had formed in her head moments before, “She-Ra will return to me willingly; she will walk in and give herself over to you without the need for any combat.”

“Foolishness! You cannot conceivably believe that to be possible.”

“Oh, but I do. Adora, _She-Ra,_ has a weakness. And I know how to exploit it.”

* * *

“That is so typical of Adora!” Catra let her body flop onto the couch in Glimmer’s room, unwilling to make the journey up the stairs to join the Princess on her bed, “I mean… panic attack? She couldn’t have picked a more ‘Adora’ way to make a scene.”

Glimmer peered over the edge of the suspended golden bowl that formed her bed, incensed by the other girl’s lack of sympathy, “What the heck Catra? She could have been seriously ill!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m glad she’s okay, but…”

“But nothing!” the Princess’s gaze had developed into a fixed stare of command; she wasn’t going to let Catra use this against Adora, “She’s your friend. More, maybe, huh?”

Catra leapt up, ready to launch herself towards Glimmer’s suggestive grin. Though it had been over a week since Adora had rejected her, the anger and resentment were still strong, and were backed up by a growing feeling of inadequacy. Adora’s rebuffing of her advances proved to Catra that she was not good enough, and probably never would be – but who would she have if not Adora? For their entire lives it had been the two of them on the same team, side-by-side against the world; but that had changed with She-Ra. Anyone who could transform into a giant warrior and single-handedly defeat an army would have no need for a crappy, hopeless sidekick like her – this is where it all fell apart, where ‘Catra and Adora’ ceased to be a thing after fourteen years… where her life went into freefall without the support of the girl she loved.

“Shut up, Glimmer! You don’t know what you’re talking about! Adora can _stay_ in the infirmary for all I care.”

“What is _wrong_ with you, Catra?!”

Catra could feel her legs shaking and her breathing quickening as differing responses fought to be the one that would leave her mouth. She wanted to angrily shut Glimmer down, to put a definite end to the prying, but equally her desire to be vulnerable and have someone reassure her that it was going to be okay burned just as bright. And for all she protested, Adora’s collapse had shaken her with worry – the moment that she saw her friend try to stand, all the colour drained from her face, and then her body give way underneath her had sent all manner of worst case scenarios to the forefront of her mind. Without Adora, Catra was nothing.

“I’M JEALOUS, OKAY?” she couldn’t stop herself from yelling, a tsunami of emotions tumbling out with those three words and stunning both her and Glimmer into silence. Catra managed to calm herself with some deep breaths before continuing, “When I found out Adora was She-Ra, I was so jealous, and I thought it would get easier when I got used to it. But it didn’t, Glim. Every second She-Ra exists, I feel like I’m losing Adora to this life of being the hero that… I mean, it’s fucking Adora! She’s a giant nerd, not a giant lady with a sword and… what if it’s never going to be the same again? What if she… what if she’s done with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Nightmares!
> 
> I'm back at work now, so I've got less time to right, and I'm also taking part in the She-Ra Fluff Bang, which will be my main focus while I write that. This means the next chapter might be a bit delayed, but I'm working on it!


	11. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadow Weaver's plot to get Adora back starts by invading Catra's dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer wait for this one as I've been writing my She-Ra Fluff Bang fic (go check it out!). But I'm back on my angst and darkness now, and that means content warnings! This one features verbal abuse and physical violence against a teen (it's a nightmare, and not real, but still...)
> 
> Also I did a little bit of art for this one, check it out below!

For somewhere that was usually bustling with the comings and goings of dozens of people, Bright Moon in the dead of night was surprisingly peaceful. Hallways that saw castle personnel rushing around during the day became silent, almost eerily so at times, and the brightly lit public rooms dimmed to near darkness. In the royal quarters, only the faint sound of someone snoring in one of the bedrooms broken the stillness. Bright Moon at night was a picture of calm.

Catra was in her usual sleeping position, sprawled awkwardly across the bed with a leg hanging off one side and the blanket off the other. The room was in darkness, save for a sliver of light from underneath the door and the dull glow of an old nightlight plugged into the socket adjacent to the bed. It had been given to her by Angella and Micah when she was 7 years old and still terrified of falling asleep in case anyone came to take her away in the night. They’d told Catra that it was a magic light and would protect her while she slept – it wasn’t, but the lie placated the young, nervous girl and allowed her to sleep.

She wasn’t really sure why she still used it – nostalgia, maybe – but every night, without fail, Catra would pull the little plastic light from the drawer by her bed and plug it in. Having had such heavy use it was no longer as bright as it used to be; the orange glow made scant difference to the darkness in the room these days, but there was still something calming about knowing it was there. Even if it wasn’t actually magic, and she’d only found out the truth about that years later, Catra still felt safer with the nightlight on than not.

Around her, the bedroom lay in shadow. It was on the wrong side of the building to get much moonlight, and subsequently Catra’s room was plunged into pitch darkness each night. As she'd become older, she started to appreciate the opportunity to sleep without any light from outside disturbing her, but it hadn’t always been like that. For quite some time, she had used to get scared about the idea of things moving in the shadows, and it had taken years to convince her that there was nothing there.

At least, that had been the case up until tonight. Had she been awake, Catra may have been able to detect the movement in the darkness around her. She may have seen the wispy tendrils of shadow creeping along the floor, wrapping around the legs of her bed as they made their way up towards her. And she definitely would have noticed the shadows encircling her body, almost entombing her in darkness.

But she did not.

* * *

Catra’s footsteps echoed through the gloomy, spartan corridors of the Fright Zone as she sprinted at top speed. Even at their age, she and Glimmer still competed in races and obstacle courses around the complex, and they didn’t care what the other cadets thought. It was fun, and besides, it complemented their training to undertake extra cardio exercise – or at least, that’s how they put it to the training officers, most of whom simply rolled their eyes and sighed when the duo ran into them. Often quite literally.

You’re slow, Glimmer!” she called to her best friend, who was now a fair distance behind her. Catra was pretty sure she’d got this race in the bag.

“I am not!”

Catra couldn’t stop herself letting out a small laugh at the girl’s breathless response. Over a decade they had been racing each other around the place and she still got out of breath by the fifth lap? She could see why Glimmer was the strategist of their squad and not the athlete. Nevertheless, Catra perched herself on the edge of one of the metal boxes that lined the hallway to wait for the other girl to catch up to at least give her a fighting chance.

[ ](https://ibb.co/sV0wFFm)

“I don’t see why you insist on running everywhere like me. Can’t you just teleport?”

Panting heavily, Glimmer finally reached the feline, putting out a hand towards the wall to steady herself as she caught her breath again, “What are you talking about? Teleport?”

“Yeah, you…” Catra trailed off as the thought evaporated. She had been so sure about the idea of Glimmer teleporting until she tried to explain herself; then it felt like pure fantasy, “Never mind.”

The shorter girl let out a small chuckle, half-mumbling to herself, “Teleporting… I dunno. You do come up with some strange stuff.”

“I just thought- AGH!” movement in the corner of Catra’s eye made her jump, her tail sticking out almost rigid with the fright. She was certain she’d just seen something dark and ethereal, like smoke but thicker and more concentrated together, almost like a rope of shadow; but when she turned to get a better look, it had vanished. With her staring at the floor, motionless, for several seconds, Glimmer started to become concerned.

“Are you okay, Catra?”

The catgirl rubbed her forehead, “Yeah, I think so? I’m not sure. Maybe we should head back to the dorms, I must be tired or something.”

“Now there’s a surprise!” Glimmer giggled, ruffling a hand through an annoyed Catra’s hair, “Kitty wants to curl up on her bed and sleep. Like _always._ ”

Catra swatted away her friend’s hand, the warmth returning to her face with a wry smile, “Oh fuck off, Sparkles!”

They both began to laugh again but were cut off almost immediately by the sound of someone clearing their throat loudly nearby. The pair jolted their heads around in unison to find themselves being glared at by a taller blonde woman in the red and white outfit of one of their superiors. The woman’s azure blue eyes pierced through both of them for several seconds, searching out an apology. When none came, she cleared her throat again, this time more insistently.

Glimmer was the first to give in, staring guiltily at the floor and speaking quietly to the older girl, “We... We’re sorry, Force Captain Adora.”

“ _You_ were not the one using disrespectful language, Cadet Glimmer,” her gaze shifted to Catra, “I’m still waiting, Cadet!”

“Ugh, fine,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I’m sorry for swearing, Force Captain Adora.”

The taller girl’s eyebrows narrowed further, and both cadets noticed Adora breathing heavily to quell her anger. Catra wasn’t exactly the best-behaved in their squad, and if Glimmer was honest, a lot of the time she brought it upon herself with her snarky attitude. She’d often found herself on the wrong end of an irate dressing down after grunting disrespectfully or eye-rolling at one of their superiors. Still, she wouldn’t be Catra without the attitude – she wouldn’t be her best friend.

“Right, that is IT!” Adora’s voiced had raised to a yell by the end of those four words. She roughly grabbed Catra’s upper arm and wrenched her forward, and the girl was certain she could see more of those wispy shadows encircling the Force Captain’s body for a moment, “I have had _enough_ of you thinking you can be so impertinent to me! Time after time I have to put up with your rudeness – well it ends now! We shall see what Shadow Weaver has to say about the matter.”

“No!” Catra shouted as a reflex, not even realising she had said anything until the sound of her own voice startled her. There was something about Shadow Weaver that her entire being rejected, something she couldn’t quite remember; all she knew was that she had to stay away from that woman at all costs. Clenching her fist and closing her eyes to try and force the memory to come to the surface yielded no result. _Why_ could she not see Shadow Weaver? _What_ was so bad that it made her legs feel as though they were going to collapse underneath her?

Adora’s grip around her arm was strong, however, and no matter how much she struggled, she couldn’t free herself. The Force Captain led her away, striding purposefully and firmly with each step, and almost dragging a reluctant Catra along the floor behind her. With genuine fear in her eyes, the feline turned back to see Glimmer watching in horror as the two of them were parted.

Catra tried to reason with the taller girl, praying that she would change her mind and let her go. If she could only remember what it was about Shadow Weaver that had evoked such a raw reaction in her, maybe she could reinforce her pleas. As it stood, however, she could say no more than, “Please, you can’t do this!”

There was no reaction. Adora didn’t look at her, or even slow her pace. The Fright Zone corridors darkened with every step, the two of them leaving behind the more brightly lit areas to dusky, intimidating hallways. And as Catra studied the hand leading her away from the light, it too flickered with darkness.

“Adora, please, don’t take me to see Shadow Weaver!”

Regardless of how many times Catra pleaded, it made no difference to her fate. When the two girls arrived at the entrance to the Black Garnet chamber, Adora remained silent, simply releasing Catra’s arm before roughly shoving her through the door. It closed behind her with a foreboding thud, leaving her in a room totally devoid of light.

“Catra…” Shadow Weaver’s voice drawled through the darkness, seeming to come from all directions at once. Though the teen tried looking around, she had no idea of where the woman was until she felt two bony fingers squeeze her chin, lifting her head slightly. A dull, deep red light started blossoming from the runestone in the centre of the room, illuminating her surroundings just enough to allow her to see the red and black mask of her guardian, inches from her face.

Catra tried to speak up, but her voice failed her, every plea turning to a silent breath. She wanted to run, to turn and flee as far as she could, but that message didn’t make it to her legs, and she remained frozen on the spot. Inside her head, there was only panic, as if every single neuron in her brain was screaming that she wasn’t safe here, yet she was powerless to do anything to save herself.

Shadow Weaver heaved an irritated sigh, “I’m not surprised Adora brought you here. She’s always been so perfect, a true hero, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Ye… Ye…” Catra’s breath hitched as she tried to choke down tears. She didn’t really accept Adora’s perfection but knew that agreeing would be the best chance of getting this over as quick as possible, “Yes.”

The old woman continued, malice infusing every word, “And then there’s you, Catra. What a disappointment you have turned out to be – lazy, unmotivated, stupid. You can’t even pass a simple sorcery exam! It’s no wonder Adora hates you.”

“Ad… Adora d… doesn’t…”

“Of course she does!” Shadow Weaver cackled derisively, as if Catra had told her something hilariously outlandish, “You know it deep down, don’t you? She has that sword now; she doesn’t need you. Doesn’t _want_ you. And you know what we do with things that have outlived their purpose: We dispose of them.”

Catra dared to glance upward, meeting the old woman’s gaze and saw only hatred. Not even a mask could cover up the sheer contempt that Shadow Weaver had for her, and it took only a moment for Catra to understand what was going to happen. There was no restraint in the sorceress’ eyes, no mercy for a teenage girl desperately trying to find her way in an ever-more confusing world. And no lessening of the force with which the fist impacted her stomach.

“Stop…” Catra whimpered breathlessly as she doubled over in pain. Inside, she was berating herself for staying and taking this violence from the woman, but not even that guilt could move her legs. She could only stand in place and wait for the next attack. Shadow Weaver paid no heed to the girl’s pleas for mercy as she grasped onto Catra’s wrist, her claw-like nails digging into the girl’s skin, and yanked the teenager across the room. Catra careered uncontrollably towards the wall, only managing to turn her head just in time to avoid hitting it face first. Warmth grew across her cheek from the site of the impact, and she heard a ringing in her ears.

“You are a disappointment! Adora will be better off without you,” the sorceress spat, her arm reeling back before slamming a fist into the side of Catra’s face which hadn’t been hit by the wall. Still the girl couldn’t move, her muscles wouldn’t even let her raise her arms up to protect herself from the ensuing flurry of punches from the old woman. Each was accompanied by another poisonous jibe from Shadow Weaver’s mouth.

“I should have done this a long time ago!”

“You are filth! You are unworthy of Adora!”

“How dare you drag Adora down with you!”

When the barrage let up, Catra was thrown to the floor with another rough wrench of her forearm. As she stared up at her attacker, wide-eyed with fear, the shadows around the old woman grew in size, enveloping the two in total darkness. The teen’s mouth tasted metallic as she swallowed blood, though she couldn’t be sure which blow had caused the injury, though the sensation was painfully familiar. She’d been here before. Her vision had become blurred, but she could still see the crackling red electricity that began to surround Shadow Weaver’s hand, she could hear it hissing with its growing power. Catra watched, powerless, as the sorceress’ hand raised once again, preparing to deliver the final blow, and she opened her mouth to scream.

The sudden loud noise of her own desperate shriek startled Catra, and her body bolted upright seemingly of its own accord. Her breathing was rapid, her body shaking, and her face drenched in sweat, but she was alone again. There was no Shadow Weaver, no Black Garnet chamber, no Glimmer or Adora – just her bed underneath her, and the comforting orange glow from her nightlight. Catra’s head jerked around, trying to take in as much of her surroundings as possible just to convince herself that she was truly back in her bedroom. That was when she noticed the tendril of shadow receding from around her leg.

“No!” she shouted, recoiling away from it, pressing her entire body up against the headboard in alarm. The shadow disappeared back into the darkness of the room, and after a tense minute with her eyes darting from side to side checking, Catra gained the confidence to move. Jumping from her bed, she tore across the room in two steps towards the light switch by the door, turning it on with much more force than it needed.

The sudden brightness overwhelmed her eyes; Catra had to scrunch them tight and put her hands over them to remain comfortable. A small gap between her fingers allowed her to slowly acclimatise to the light, and once she was capable of opening her eyes, she surveyed the room. There were no shadows, not the type that Shadow Weaver would send to spy on her at least – had she imagined it? If Shadow Weaver wanted to do anything, she would have done it long before, Catra reasoned. There was no point in doing this now, not after almost nine years of her and Adora living in Bright Moon.

But no amount of calm rationalising like that could quieten the part of her brain that was telling her she wasn’t safe. No matter how many times Catra told herself it was just a nightmare, the adrenaline coursing through her veins wouldn’t let her body relax. She knew there was no chance of returning to sleep, and she didn’t particularly want to be alone either, just in case anything she thought she’d seen had been real. The idea that Shadow Weaver was planning to return to her life now was a terrifying one, and she’d never felt more vulnerable than she did in that moment.

Catra took a deep breath to calm herself and smoothed down her hair a couple of times, then quietly opened the door, backing out into the hallway to be sure that she wouldn’t be attacked as she left by whatever could have been hiding in her bedroom. Thankfully, her destination was only a couple of doors away, though with the size of Bright Moon’s bedrooms, it was a little way down the hall. She gently pushed on the door, just enough to fit her head inside the gap it created.

“Adora?” she whispered, but the girl was fast asleep. A faint voice from across the room was not going to change that, so Catra ventured in further. Trying to block out the thoughts of what could be lying in the darkness around her, she moved towards Adora’s bed and perched lightly on the edge. Softly laying her hand on the girl’s shoulder, she whispered her name again.

Adora stirred slightly, making a grunting sound that could almost have been mistaken for actual words, then opened two rather disoriented-looking eyes, “Catra?”

“Adora, I…” the initial relief of having her best friend awake quickly turned to doubt. Adora would never believe Catra’s fears of Shadow Weaver’s return – and maybe she would be right not to. As real as it had seemed, Catra still couldn’t be sure of what she saw and whether the shadow that had hold of her leg had simply been a trick of her terrified mind. But it still felt like a lie to reduce what she’d just been through to a simple bad dream, “I had a nightmare. Can I… can I sleep in here with you?”

The sigh that Adora gave was equal parts tiredness and irritation, “You’re fourteen years old, Catra, deal with it.”

“Please, Adora…”

The blonde girl let out an annoyed groan, “Dammit Catra, please just let me sleep! I have been really struggling to get any lately with this whole sword thing going on, without you coming in here at who knows what time and disturbing me. Just go back to bed.”

With that, Adora turned away, pulling the blanket up over her head and using her hip to force Catra off the bed. It took an immense effort for the catgirl to stem the tears that the rejection had caused – it felt like her fears of Adora not needing her any more had all been realised. They used to share a bed so often when either one of them had a bad dream, they always felt a little more comfortable to have the other sleeping beside them; Catra had thought it was a sort of unspoken rule, a promise, that they would always be there for each other when they were needed. But now, Adora had broken it; she had put Catra second.

And all because of that sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doesn't Glimmer look awesome in a Horde uniform?
> 
> Next time: Catra goes outside, then wishes she hadn't


	12. In the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fear of what lies in her room, coupled with her racing mind over Adora's rejection, means Catra doesn't feel like going back to bed. Which gives Shadow Weaver the perfect opportunity to strike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's angst time again! This was an interesting chapter to write, because I dumped a whole other plot halfway through (that will return later on though, when I can give it the proper treatment). 
> 
> Anyhow, there's more (not hugely graphic or anything) violence against a teen in this, so be warned.

Tears started to sting in Catra’s eyes as she walked along the wide hallway of the royal quarters. She couldn’t stop them, not when she was under the combined weight of one of the worst nightmares she’d ever had and Adora denying her any comfort. She needed Adora right now, but the girl was more concerned with getting sleep than looking after her – it seemed almost unbelievable given everything they had lived through together. Adora knew about Catra’s fears, knew that underneath all the snark she was still a vulnerable little girl, and still she had rejected her.

What hurt most was that it didn’t seem unexpected either. Every single day of her life, Adora had been there – tended every wound, hugged away every bout of depression, helped with every silly little idea she’d had. That had all gone away in the last few weeks. Adora was always quite withdrawn, but never from Catra, not until recently. Not until she’d found that stupid sword. From the second Adora had touched it and been flung across Catra’s room by some weird magical _whatever-it-was,_ their relationship had fallen apart. That was why Adora rejected her after they kissed, that was why she left her and Glimmer in that cellar, that was why Adora had just kicked her out when Catra needed her. The sword was destroying everything they had and, even worse, it was all Catra’s fault. She’d been the one who found it and brought it back to Bright Moon.

She walked past her own bedroom, partly out of fear for what lay within and partly through the realisation that she wouldn’t be able to sleep either. Her mind was racing with all these thoughts and worries, fears of a future where Adora was some magical Princess beloved by all, and didn’t even remember Catra. While everyone fawned over this She-Ra for single-handedly saving the planet from the Horde, Catra would be at best watching on from a dark corner of the Bright Moon banquet room. At worst, Micah and Angella would have kicked her out for being useless and she’d be living on the streets of some godforsaken village somewhere.

Movement from the corner of her eye forcefully brought Catra out of her imagination, charging her blood with adrenaline and her mind with fear. Though she’d not been able to look properly, her instinct knew what it was – it was another of Shadow Weaver’s spies, just like she'd seen in her room. It had to be. There was another flash of darkness to her side, and she wheeled around, this time getting a much clearer view. Slinking around the top of the staircase like a shadowy snake was the unmistakeable ethereal smoke-like manifestation of her former guardian.

Catra had had copious amounts of experience with these. When she was a kid, these shadow spies used to follow her around everywhere, checking up on her and reporting back to Shadow Weaver. There was no privacy, no way for the young girl to get even a minute alone out of sight of the old woman, and Catra had eventually become so accustomed to being watched that she stopped noticing their movement around her. After 8 years in Bright Moon, however, she’d almost forgotten about their existence; she’d thought that maybe, just maybe, having to watch her every step for fear of Shadow Weaver’s retribution was a thing of the past. She was wrong.

The shadow didn’t seem to flee from her sight like it had done previously, however. It stared at her with a faint red glow, a single demonic eye buried deep within the darkness linking with Catra’s own for several seconds. When it was sure that she had noticed it, the wisp moved further down, slowly enough that Catra could follow its movement. It stopped at the bottom of the staircase, turning back towards her, its ‘eye’ burning brighter as though beckoning her towards it. She took a few cautious steps downward.

“What do you want?” Catra hissed, wary of the fact that even a whisper could wake some of the lighter sleepers in the rooms around her, “I know it’s you, Shadow Weaver, just show yourself.”

Still no response came other than the wisp retreating further from her, stopping again to check Catra was following. They continued this strange dance, advancing with discontinuous steps out of the royal quarters, across the main entrance hall and out into the night. Had Catra not still been feeling the shock of her nightmare and Adora’s response, she may have thought more clearly and logically about what she was doing. She would have felt the cold air wrapping around her body, clad only in a long-sleeved grey pyjama top with a picture of a cat on it and blue checked shorts, and returned to the warmth of the castle. Instead, she remained on the tail of the shadow spy, letting herself be led across the bridge over the moat and towards the trees that covered the landscape at the other end.

With the clarity that the bracing night air brought to her mind, she thought twice about following the shadow into the woods, lingering on the edge of the forest for a minute as she debated internally. It was almost undoubtedly a bad idea to continue on, the Whispering Woods were the perfect place for Shadow Weaver to spring a trap; but on the other hand, what if this was a chance to find out what she was planning? If Catra were to be the one to uncover and foil a Horde plot to infiltrate Bright Moon, everyone would see how useful she was, even though she didn’t have a magic sword. It wouldn’t _just_ be Adora who could protect the Rebellion. She felt a wave of determination to show them all that she wasn’t useless – she was more than just the mouthy kid, the one who was bad at school, and it was almost a responsibility to prove that now.

Her ears pricked up at a sudden sound, a faint snapping like someone stepping on a dead twig. It was hardly audible, but the forest at this time was silent and her hearing was better than most.

“Hello?” she called out, trying to sound far less terrified than she really was, “Is anyone there? Shadow Weaver?”

For a moment, there was silence, then Catra’s muted scream as a gloved hand clasped over her mouth and pulled her backwards. Her instinct kicked in a second later, and she bit as hard as she could, sinking her sharpest teeth through the fabric and the flesh underneath. The hand immediately released her, a surprised yell of pain coming from close to Catra’s right ear as her attacker discovered the hard way that she was going to fight back.

“Shadow-” Catra reeled herself around to face the assailant, expecting to see her old guardian stood there. Her threat was initially cut short by the surprise of seeing an armour-clad soldier rather than the red robes of the woman who made her early life a misery, but a moment’s thought quelled that feeling. She had assumed that Shadow Weaver would do her own dirty work, but if it meant leaving the Fright Zone, the place she had almost free rein, of course she would make someone else do it. The fear of getting caught hurting a defenceless kid in a place where people wouldn’t just nod at her and carry on about their day must have outweighed the pleasure she probably would have taken in doing it.

Catra furrowed her eyebrows, glaring at the visor of the soldier. She couldn’t see their eyes but was certain that they were looking directly back at her, “I know Shadow Weaver put you up to this. Why don’t you go back and tell her to leave us the fuck alone while you can still walk, huh?”

The only response was another yell as the soldier wound back a fist and thundered it towards her. Catra was agile, though, sidestepping the punch with ease and using the attacker’s momentum to send them crashing to the floor. This gave her an essential few seconds that would help her escape, and she turned to run back to the castle, ready to raise the alarm that the Horde were close by once again.

By the time she felt the hand around her left ankle, Catra had already started to take her first step and could do little to stay upright. She tumbled to the mossy forest floor, the sharp stub of a recently-broken tree branch tearing through her clothing and carving a deep gash into her upper arm as she collapsed awkwardly.

Even on the floor, soil smeared across her face where it had crashed unprotected into the ground and a sharp, stinging pain from the wound on her arm, Catra was determined not to give up. Whatever the Horde was attempting, whatever Shadow Weaver wanted her for, she was not going to give them the satisfaction of her compliance, no matter how much they tried to hurt her. Micah, all those years ago, had saved her and Adora, offering them a life where they didn’t have to fear for their safety on a daily basis. He and Angella, Glimmer too, had made them feel welcome, and given them hope for a future where they weren’t expected to be soldiers in the Horde’s machine. Catra was not going to have that taken away from her.

She kicked out, making the slightest of contact with the soldier’s arm, but it was too little, too late. Catra heard the crackle of the stun baton before she saw the green crackle of electricity contrast against the dark sky above. Saying something she couldn’t quite make out, the assailant brought it down towards her body with much more force than they needed to, the active end coming into contact with the skin on her neck. In the split second before she passed into unconsciousness, Catra’s mind was evoked with memories of the electricity that flowed from Shadow Weaver’s hand in much the same way.

With her last conscious thought, Catra prayed she would not see it again.

**

It took a good few minutes for Catra to realise she was no longer in the forest when she finally came round. She vaguely recognised the dark green walls and the hard floor upon which she lay as those of the Horde’s prison, a place she had only been once before on the day she and Adora left the Fright Zone. Her head felt as though it was being clamped in a vice, and the sharp pain from her arm distracted her from properly looking around her new surroundings. Semi-consciously using her other hand to feel the extent of the injury, she was surprised to find her arm bare, with a bandage wrapped around where the tree branch had ripped through her skin. She glanced downward to find herself in a red-and-white Horde t-shirt, immediately angering at the thought of wearing such a symbol of destruction and pulling roughly at it.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” it was an unmistakeable voice she heard, laced with equal parts evil, condescension, and misplaced self-importance, “We have standards of dress here.”

“Let me go, Shadow Weaver.”

The woman moved into view at the entrance to the cell, tapping on the keypad to briefly remove the protective forcefield to allow herself in. She stood over Catra, coming uncomfortably into her personal space as she always used to do in order to make herself seem bigger and more threatening.

“It wouldn’t kill you to be polite, Catra,” she spat her name like it was an inedible piece of food, “But I should know better than to expect manners from the likes of you. I will gladly allow you to go back to Micah, but I need one thing from you in return.”

Even though she was still faint from her ordeal, Catra was alert enough to remember that any deal with Shadow Weaver would only lead to more pain, “No.”

“I didn’t finish, Catra! It is rude to interrupt. What I want from you is Adora – return her to me.”

“You can’t be serious,” Catra hauled herself into a sitting position, wincing as the pain in her head intensified, “You’re never getting your hands on her again. And once Bright Moon realises I’m missing, they’ll come and destroy you to get me back.”

Shadow Weaver heaved a sigh of derisive frustration, “Whatever lies you need to tell yourself, Catra... But I assure you, Adora is coming back to me and you _will_ help me. However, I shall give you time to think over my offer.”

Catra reached an arm up to try and grab hold of the sorceress’ cloak, but only succeeded in grasping air as Shadow Weaver moved away. She was alone in the cell once more, the forcefield returning to separate her from the woman.

“I’ll come back later to see if you’ve changed your mind.”

* * *

Another beautiful dawn had risen over Bright Moon, seeing the castle hallways flooded with brilliant orange light and the gardens resounding with birdsong. Inside, the dining hall bubbled with the activity of staff rushing about to serve breakfast to the royal family. Adora and Angella had already taken their seats as usual, the two of them being much more punctual than Micah, Catra and Glimmer. The King and his daughter, as always, followed together a few minutes after, dragging their semi-conscious bodies through the doorway while an attentive butler held the door open.

“I see at least _one_ of you managed to get themselves dressed,” Angella’s words were cold, but her tone and smile were more playful as she glanced towards a pyjama-clad Glimmer, who simply grunted in response, “And I presume Catra will join us too?”

“I did shout to her,” Micah answered, “But I didn’t get any reply.”

That was Adora’s first indication that something was wrong. It wasn’t unlike Catra to sleep in, or even give no response to being called for breakfast, but something in her mind was flagging up a worry. She wasn’t sure whether to call it intuition or unwarranted fear, but after Catra had woken her up, scared, and she’d told her to go away – what if something had happened after?

“I have to go find her,” Adora scraped her chair back and bolted out of the room, sprinting across the foyer and up the stairs towards their bedroom. Panic had set in, her fears of what had happened to her best friend outweighed only by those of what Catra could have done to herself. She hated that it crossed her mind without any reason to believe it, but the image of the girl lying dead somewhere forced itself into her consciousness. And with it, the guilt of knowing it was her fault.

“Catra!” Adora didn’t wait for a response before barging into the bedroom. It was empty, abandoned with no trace of her whereabouts, and Adora stood immobile, looking at the empty bed. If something had happened, she would never forgive herself for her final words to Catra being to tell her to go away. Borne from the anxiety, Adora felt her heart begin to race and her breathing become shallow. The room span around her, with the sound of Micah and Angella approaching behind sounding as though it was far away, just as it had done at the celebration of her victory.

“Adora, stay with us,” Micah saw the vacant expression that had frozen her face, and ran over to support her body, coaxing her to sit on the bed, “I'm sure nothing bad has happened. But we’re going to find her, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time - there's bad news for Bright Moon and bad news for Catra.
> 
> Also I know these are a little less frequent, I'm working full time again so that's less time to write! I'm also working on some original stuff too, which is also taking away from the time to write this, but there will be more soon!


	13. Always In Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A panicked Bright Moon searches for any trace of Catra. Meanwhile, Shadow Weaver goes to extreme lengths to ensure her compliance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, somehow, just flowed out so nicely and quickly (though admittedly the final scene I had written a few weeks back).
> 
> And there's some painful scenes ahead of i guess kinda torture (nothing gory, definitely nothing sexual)

The majority of the day passed in a blur of worry after news of Catra’s disappearance spread. A dozen or so people were sent out to search the grounds of Bright Moon, and then further afield once that had turned up nothing. Angella and Micah had initially split their time between commanding the search teams and reassuring Adora and Glimmer that she would be found, but as the evening rolled around, the four of them had retreated into the calm of the library, where they sat in silence. Conversation had long dwindled away to nothing; any topics of distraction having been exhausted hours before and no-one wanting to even mention the possibility of Catra remaining lost.

Adora had spent the last three hours anxiously reading book after book, taking in nothing of what her eyes were seeing. Her mind couldn’t be distracted from reliving their final conversation, the one where she had sent Catra away, callously rejecting the girl who had clearly been terrified by a nightmare. She replayed it over and over, telling herself how she should have responded – she should have comforted her, allowed her to sleep in the bed so she wasn’t alone. And then at least Catra would have been there in the morning when they woke up.

By the time the door to the library opened, and Juliet, Bright Moon’s head guard, walked in, the world outside was in the darkness of night, and while Adora had been to worried to sleep, Glimmer had nodded off in the chair opposite. The sound startled her awake, and all of them stared expectantly at the woman, waiting for the good news they had prayed for.

“Did you find her?” Adora jumped up from her chair, rushing over to stand in Juliet’s path. She desperately needed to hear that they had found Catra, that her regrets over the night before hadn’t ended with something awful happening.

“I need a word with the King and Queen alone,” she replied quietly, the others in the room trying to gauge the tone of her voice to work out how good or bad the update was going to be. Adora could already tell that the news was not great.

Micah rose, opening a nearby door that led to a small, barely-used corridor towards a storage area. It was hardly the most comforting of places to hear what could turn out to be highly upsetting news about their adoptive daughter, but the need to hear it as quickly as possible won out over finding somewhere comfortable, “We can talk out here.”

“Why can’t we come?” Glimmer protested, “She’s our friend too! We should be there to hear it.”

“Be patient, Glimmer,” Angella ushered Juliet and her husband out of the room, “We’ll update you the moment we know what’s going on, I promise.”

“Ughh, fine…”

The three adults moved a short way down the corridor after closing the door behind them, hoping that they were out of eavesdropping range. The King and Queen tried to stay composed, but they shared Glimmer and Adora’s desire to hear any scrap of information that might lead to Catra returning to them. Her departure had left an emptiness inside them, and the need to see her again burned intensely.

“Have you found Catra?” Micah went straight to the key question, abandoning any pleasantries or royal convention. There was no immediate verbal response, but the way Juliet’s eyes were unable to meet his, coupled with her uncharacteristically slack body language, told him what he feared he may hear, “No…”

Juliet cleared her throat, choking down a tear that wasn’t befitting of the head guard of Bright Moon, “One of the teams searching the Whispering Woods found a scrap of fabric that matches what Catra was wearing last night and it had blood on it. There appeared to have been some sort of struggle, and our best guess is that it was one of the larger animals that roam the forest. We’ve had reports of others being attacked in that area.”

Angella’s hand flew up in front of her mouth, her eyes welling up as she processed the implication of what she was hearing, “No… it’s happened again.”

“Angie, no, this isn’t like before. It’s not your fault,” Micah comforted his wife, pulling her close into him, “You did all you could today to find her.”

“It _is_ my fault! I cannot look after my daughters, I… I told myself after last time that if I had more children, I would keep them safe. And now Catra is… How could I let this happen again?”

“You didn’t let it happen,” his reassurance was a mere drop in the ocean of Angella’s guilt, and the words barely registered in her mind, “Don’t blame yourself, please, my love.”

She gasped as another realisation came, “Oh gods, how am I going to explain it to Glimmer and Adora? They’ll be devastated.”

The King clasped Angella’s hands inside his own, “You won’t have to do it alone. But we did promise to tell them as soon as we had any information, so…”

His wife nodded, quietened by the shock that was setting in. She felt numb and distant, but her motherly instinct forced her to remain as strong as she could to help her daughters through what was going to be the worst news of their lives. It was a conversation she had prayed the entire day that she would never need to have, but the dreadful reality had made it a necessity.

While Juliet stayed behind to give the family a little privacy, the King and Queen made their way gingerly down the corridor, hand in hand, and opened the door back to the library. Adora and Glimmer jumped to their feet once more, eagerly staring at them to await the news. Neither of the adults knew how to even begin to explain something so unremittingly upsetting, and there was silence while they tried to search for words that could speak the unspeakable.

Micah felt the tension growing and began to talk first, stumbling as he tried to find any sort of rhythm, “Okay, so we’ve had some news and, uh… before we tell you, we just want you to know that we love you… and…”

“Just tell us!” Glimmer yelled without meaning to. Her father’s hesitation was only making the situation more anxiety-inducing at a time she and Adora were already sick with worry about their best friend.

“Sorry, sorry. Um…” words that could explain what had happened without being too devastating still failed to come, “The search parties found something that is… well it’s not good... um, it’s like…”

“Catra’s dead,” Angella interjected flatly, the turmoil in her mind disposing with any form of soft approach that she might otherwise have tried, “They found scraps of her clothing in the woods.”

The room again fell to silence, punctuated only by Adora’s quickening breathing. She felt as though her world had stopped. All the happiness from moments spent with Glimmer and Catra, all the successes of her education, all the plans she had for the future – they had vanished in a single instant. Snatched away from her and replaced with nothing by two simple words.

_Catra’s dead._

Tears fell relentlessly from her eyes, driven by a force she had no control over. It was as though no amount of crying would ever be enough to reflect the impact of losing Catra, and the thought occurred to her that she might never stop. How could she? There was no conceivable way that anything could ever again be okay enough to lessen the pain and stem the tears. Not even Glimmer’s arm around her, pulling Adora into her chest, gave even a speck of comfort. She was entering a world without Catra, and nothing could make that world any less agonising.

* * *

The straps holding Catra against the bare metal table dug in to her body, and no matter how much she tried to wriggle herself into a more comfortable position, she could not escape their grip. Around her neck, a metal collar prevented her from lifting her head, or even turning it to the side to see what was happening, all she could do was stare at the dark ceiling of the Black Garnet Chamber, an uncomfortably familiar sight. This was the place where so many of her most awful memories stemmed from, the ones that still made her body shake in fear, despite the years that had passed. The place where, as a child, she had been through traumas so awful that she had struggled to even tell them to Adora, let alone any of the adults at Bright Moon. Nothing pleasant had ever happened to her in this room.

“Catra…” Shadow Weaver’s voice made her wince. The way her name rolled off the woman’s tongue, laced thickly with disgust, had not changed one iota since she was a young child, “I’m glad you could join me today.”

Catra balled her fists to try and keep herself from breaking down, “Wasn’t like I had a choice, you kidnapped me, put me in the prison and then got a couple of idiots to drag me in here.”

“Oh, you had a choice. I gave you the opportunity to bring Adora back to me, but you refused. But what else should I have expected from a brat who never did what I asked of her?”

“Don’t you remember what you did to me?” she spat in Shadow Weaver’s direction, falling a long way short of making contact, “Why would I ever do what you want after that?”

The old woman paced towards her, the atmosphere tense with silence, then leaned over the table, red and black mask inches from Catra’s face. A bony hand caressed the girl’s cheek, and she flinched at the touch, “That’s exactly what I thought. I know you remember everything far too well, and I think I should put that right, don’t you?”

“Wh.. what are you doing?” Catra’s arms and legs flailed in the desperate hope that the restraints would give up and allow her an escape, but they stayed resilient against her movement.

“Stay still,” there was glee in the woman’s voice knowing what she was about to do, “It’ll only hurt more if you struggle.”

Shadow Weaver’s hands began to glow and crackle with the red magical electricity that had hurt Catra countless times in the past, and she scrunched her eyes shut, preparing for the pain as they were brought up towards her head. Fingers pressed against her temples, and the pop of the first spark made her entire body jolt. It began as a severe discomfort, just about bearable for a brief time, but the sorceress soon began to channel more power through her hands and directly into Catra’s head. Every nerve ending in the girl’s body felt as though it were screaming, begging for mercy from the incessant flow of magical energy. She squirmed and whimpered, desperate to be free, to go home and see Adora, to live her life away from the horrors that Shadow Weaver had always inflicted on her.

“I did say not to struggle,” had she not been wearing a mask, Catra was sure she would have seen a huge grin on Shadow Weaver’s face. She always took perverse pleasure in torturing people, and Catra had often seemed to be her favourite for it.

“N… no…” she could barely get the words out through the agony, the intensity beyond anything she had ever experienced before at the mercy of these cruel hands, “Please!”

Shadow Weaver gave no reaction to her pleas, pressing even harder against the side of the girl’s head and sending more electricity surging into Catra’s already overwhelmed brain. The table rattled with the spontaneous spasms of the muscles in her body, forced into movement with the overload of current coming from the sorceress. The pain had long since passed any threshold that Catra had any frame of reference for; from head to toe, she had tensed up in the vain attempt that it could lessen the discomfort. It was only the brief microseconds of respite where the flow of power ebbed that she could even catch a breath, but still Shadow Weaver held firm.

“Stop it…. Please…” every syllable was punctuated by the groans of pain that came through every laboured breath, “You don’t… have to… no more, please!”

Again, Shadow Weaver ignored Catra’s desperation, determined that her plan would not fail at this point, so near to her goal. The pain continued to pulse through her, a feral yell of agony reverberating off every wall in the room, and it did not put the sorceress off at all; she had no qualms about the torture that she was inflicting on Catra, just a resolve that she would get what she wanted. She _would_ get She-Ra, no matter what it cost. A further surge of electricity brought her closer to success, as Catra’s eyes shut abruptly into unconsciousness.

_An unending darkness. That was the only way that Catra could describe her surroundings, pitch black and without limit, without any way to orient herself to the environment. She didn’t know where she was, nor how she had got here, and all attempts to recall any recent memories failed._

_“Catra?” Adora’s voice echoed around her, calling her name repeatedly as if helping her to home in on where the sound came from. Catra stood frozen, eyes closed, listening to the voice that had always calmed her. The voice that had always been home. When she opened her eyes again, Adora was stood in front of her, the incredible smile that had always been Catra’s anchor worn across her face._

_“Adora!” she cried out in relief, washed over with the realisation that now Adora was here, it would all be fine, “What’s happening? I don’t know what’s going on!”_

_“It’ll be okay as long as we’re together. Come with me, Catra,” Adora reached out a hand towards her, and Catra did the same, but she could not quite reach. The distance between them seemed only to lengthen however, and as she stepped forward to get closer, they became further away from each other. Catra kept on, walking, running, sprinting forward to grab hold of the girl’s hand, the hand that would save her from being alone in the darkness. Still she could not close the gap._

_“Adora!”_

_No matter how much she tried, Adora remained out of reach, and Catra soon found the limit of her body. Unable to run any more, she fell to her knees to catch her breath, looking up with tear-stained eyes at the person she loved. Adora was fading. The darkness began to creep through her, as inch by inch, her body began to disappear, disappearing like a photograph succumbing to flame and becoming one with the pitch-black surroundings. Catra had never felt so powerless; there was no way to help, no way to reach her, no way to stop the most important person in her world from being taken into shadow._

_“A… dora…”_

Catra’s writhing on the table, fuelled by the overwhelming power flowing through her at Shadow Weaver’s hands, became more violent, rattling at the restraints so much that the sorceress began to fear they would break. But they held as the thrashing intensified, then a piercing scream left Catra’s mouth, and finally, her body became limp and unmoving, save for a few gasps as she tried to breathe. Silence enveloped the Black Garnet chamber, Shadow Weaver praying that her mind wipe had worked as she tentatively released the restraints around Catra’s body. It was rare that she felt worry, yet there was definite concern in her voice when it broke through the tense calm.

“Catra?”

The girl’s eyes opened, her pupils struggling to adjust to the light of the room and her aching body giving her clear discomfort, “What… what happened?”

“Oh, thank the gods you’re alive. Do not worry child, you’re okay, you’re home. I have kept you safe. Adora cannot reach you here,” underneath her mask, she bit her lip as she explicitly tested how effective the procedure had been. Mentioning the name of the girl she would rather have had back in the Fright Zone under her command, would reveal whether she had been successful.

Catra’s eyes narrowed at the name, “Who… who’s Adora?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Shadow Weaver brings Catra up to speed on the things she has 'forgotten', while Adora helps plan a memorial service.  
> \--  
> That mind wipe scene was kind of inspired by a similar scene in Danganronpa 3, but not quite as horrifying or uncomfortable. I tried to balance making clear what it was like without making it too gratuitous, so hopefully i've done that OK.
> 
> As always, if you've enjoyed this chapter/fic so far, let me know by leaving a comment :)


	14. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Angella share their memories of Catra, unaware that in the Fright Zone, Shadow Weaver is giving Catra some new memories of her own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Finally!" I hear you cry... yes, it has been over a month since the last chapter, and there are a couple of reasons it's taken me so long.
> 
> Firstly, work commitments - the person who did my job alongside me left at the beginning of September, and since then I've had to take on the workload of two people. That's meant 45/50-hour weeks, missed days off and not as much time to sit down and write.
> 
> Secondly, I've also been working on another little project, an original short story which I'm hoping will form part of an upcoming book. I'll share more when I find out more!
> 
> Thanks for your patience, I hope it's worth the wait.

No-one had been hit harder by Catra’s loss than Adora. In the three days following the discovery of those scraps of blood-stained clothing in the Whispering Woods, she hadn’t left her room once. Angella and Micah had taken it in turns to bring meals and attempt conversation, but each time they left without any response, carrying the uneaten food from hours before. Adora had nothing to say – there was no conversation that could bring her best friend back, nor ease the pain of losing her. Her empty life now consisted solely of sleeping and laying awake staring at the ceiling, and even that seemed more painful than she could bear.

By the evening of the third day, worry about Adora’s fragility had grown. To most around the castle, it was as though she had completely disappeared, and even Glimmer had seen barely anything of her. Nothing anyone tried could free Adora from her placid state, and Angella was more concerned than anyone else, afraid that she would never get the girl back from her grief. She and Micah had been preparing a small memorial service for Catra – not an elaborate thing, but something intimate and poignant – and had wanted to include Adora in the preparation, but thus far had not managed to get through.

The Queen had one last bit of preparation to do, and as she knocked on the bedroom door, a small box under one arm, she prayed that this would be the moment to break Adora out of her own head. Angella sat on the bed, placing the box on her lap and a hand tentatively on Adora’s shoulder, “I need your help with something.”

Adora gave no reaction.

“We’re planning a memorial for Catra and I thought you might like to look through some photos and pick your favourite ones to have there,” again seeing no response, the Queen pulled a picture at random from the box and held it in front of Adora’s unfocused stare, “Is this one okay?”

She had hoped that seeing a picture of Catra might spark something in the girl – even anger would be preferable to the empty shell that Adora had become. Angella would have given anything just to see some fire, some speck of hope that the girl she knew was still inside. But when it made scant difference, the Queen realised what a laughable idea her plan had been. Adora had just lost her best friend, the only person who had stuck with her through the transition from young child soldiers to loved and supported Princesses. The one person who knew her better than anyone in Bright Moon could ever hope to, and a box of photos wasn’t going to fix that.

Angella sighed, putting the lid back on the box and getting to her feet, “I’m sorry, Adora. I just thought it would help, I should have realised that you just need time and-”

“My birthday,” those two blank words were the first the girl had spoken in days. And though they were devoid of all emotion, flat and passive, it still felt like a breakthrough to Angella.

“Your birthday? It’s not for a few months…”

“In the photo,” Adora remained motionless, eyes fixed on the wall next to her bed, “It was my birthday. I think I was nine, and I’d been going on about this doll I wanted for weeks. You were probably sick of it.”

Angella gave a short chuckle, “Fashion Felicity… how could I forget?”

“And Catra, she… she thought it was the stupidest thing in the world, and she kept teasing me about it. But a couple of days before my birthday she asked if she could get it for me, and you let her change the tag to one that she wrote saying it was ‘from Catra’.”

“I remember that,” the Queen gave a joyful gasp as the memories rushed back, plastering a smile across her face, “Except she spelt her name wrong, didn’t she?”

“Carta,” Adora’s blank expression lost out to a small grin, which in turn became larger and eventually broke into a giggle. It wasn’t even particularly funny but thinking about the lighter parts of their life together brought a freedom that she could fill with that laughter. Tears of joy and sadness mixed, falling from her face like a waterfall of emotion. She couldn’t stop herself crying, she couldn’t stop herself laughing and they mixed together in a bittersweet combination.

Seeing what a single photograph had achieved, Angella rummaged through the box on her lap and pulled another out, smiling to herself as she recalled when it had been taken, “Remember this, Adora?”

“When was…” she squinted at the image, trying to evoke the memory. The picture had been taken in the Bright Moon banquet hall at some event, and Adora could pinpoint their age to 12 years old by Catra’s awkwardly short hair. She had tried something new, regretted it the moment she looked in the mirror, and it had taken her months to grow it out again, “Was this some kind of palace event?”

“State visit from the King of Salineas. Remember Catra’s dress?”

Adora snorted a laugh, “She _hated_ it! Pretty sure we never saw her in a dress again.”

“And she hated me for making her wear it,” Angella closed her eyes to evoke the memory, “She refused to acknowledge my existence for at least a week after that. Gods, she’s so stubborn.”

“She is… _was_ ,” the smile faded from Adora’s face as she remembered she’d be using the past tense to talk about Catra from now on. The stubbornness she so fondly talked about was gone, and nothing she could do would bring it back. Adora longed for even one more day together, to properly apologise for the night, to create a better memory of their last moments… to tell Catra that she loved her.

Angella felt the warmth in the atmosphere vanish almost immediately at the remembrance of what had happened, “I’m so sorry, Adora.”

“It’s not… I just… She…” a sigh fell from Adora’s mouth as she stumbled over her words trying to articulate her thoughts. She resigned herself to a simple, “I miss her.”

“I do too, Adora.”

The girl shook her head, “Not like me. I don’t think anyone could miss her like I do.”

Angella understood what she meant; their friendship had been forged at an early age, far before she had met either of them. And while neither of the girls had talked very much about what their life had been like before they came to Bright Moon, she had quickly gotten a sense that they were each other’s lifeline in an environment that no child should ever have to endure. They had a kind of connection that it wouldn’t ever be possible even for Glimmer to have with either of them, and she wanted Adora to understand that she recognised that. But before she could say a word, Adora continued on.

“I miss the way she used to sleep at the foot of my bed. I miss the little sparkle in her eye when she was up to no good, and the smile that she only ever gave when she looked at me. I miss her energy, the enthusiasm she had when she was really into something,” the tears began to fall, but didn’t stop Adora, “I miss seeing her face every morning, even the days when she would jump on my bed and shout my name to wake me up. I miss the comfort of knowing that if something is on my mind and causing me stress, that I can go and talk to her and she’ll make time for me - I even miss the way she would flat-out tell me if I was being stupid, because she knew me well enough to know that I let things get to me far more than they should. I just want to see her again."

She could no longer hold back the tide, and the crying came faster and harder than ever, as though it had built up from the last three days of silence and was only now coming out all at once. Angella pulled Adora close, wrapping her arms around the girl and letting her cry into her chest. Though she tried her hardest to stay strong, to be a rock for her adoptive daughter, the display of sheer emotion so close to her brought tears to Angella’s eyes too. For several minutes, there was no sound in the room beyond the sobs of two women who had lost a big part of their lives.

As their eyes exhausted themselves of tears, and the wails of grief were replaced with the irregular gasps of breath of two people trying to compose themselves, Angella’s thoughts turned to the coming days. She felt thankful that she had managed to bring Adora from her catatonia but knew that she couldn’t leave her to return again to her isolation.

“Micah is going to the Kingdom of Plumeria tomorrow to arrange flowers for the memorial. I think you and Glimmer should go with him, don’t you?”

Adora sniffled and nodded her head, “I can get ones she would have liked.”

“Oh,” the Queen’s head jerked upwards as another thought came to her mind, “And the King has a… a daughter about your age, I think you’d get on well.”

“Thank you, Angella,” Adora replied quietly. There was no verbal response necessary, a simple hug instead spoke more than words could. They both knew that Catra’s loss was going to create a vacuum in their lives, but their conversation had given them each the knowledge that the other understood. And now, they had to face the future without her.

* * *

The Horde’s infirmary was hardly worthy of the name, consisting of a couple of rooms with beds in them that were only slightly more comfortable than the ones the soldiers slept upon. There was little to differentiate the depressing featureless walls in the medical bay from the depressing featureless walls everywhere else in the Fright Zone. Patients were attended to not by nurses or doctors, but by the least proficient fighters forced to work there instead of being sent to the frontlines. Infirmary duty was a punishment for poor performance rather than a means of keeping people healthy.

The non-existence of medical care was unsurprising though, given the ethos drilled into every cadet from an early age: illness was weakness. Even the slightest cough or sniffle would give away the fact that you were not functioning at 100%, that you were the weak link in your squad; a weak link that could easily be exploited by the dangerous fighters of the rebellion. In fact, any show of physical or mental illness was not simply discouraged, but outright forbidden. If you were ill, you either didn’t let it affect you or you hid away until it had left you, those were the rules.

Not that Catra could remember that. In fact, since having woken up to news of her miraculous rescue after someone called Adora had attacked her, she’d not been told much more about what was going on. She knew basic information about herself – her name was Catra, she was in her teens and she was in a place called the Fright Zone – but Shadow Weaver had encouraged her to regain physical strength before trying to piece together the broken memories. This had proven a wise move, given the severe headaches she had been suffering in the 48 hours after coming round; she wouldn’t have been in a position to fully take in information with those. But the pain had become easier, the pangs of migraine less frequent, and Catra’s head was starting to feel a little clearer.

The click of a latch made her jump slightly, and she peered over to see Shadow Weaver entering the room, softly closing the door behind her. Catra hadn’t been able to get a good look at the woman in the aftermath of her rescue, but the calm of the secluded room allowed her to fully take in her rather unique appearance. The mask that hid Shadow Weaver’s face was her defining feature, and Catra could only speculate as to what lay underneath – she’d probably seen it before, she assumed, but like most of her memories, that knowledge had been lost in the attack. She couldn’t recall anything about this woman, yet there was a vague feeling that stirred in her stomach, an apprehension that she couldn’t place.

“How are you feeling, Catra?” Shadow Weaver spoke softly, kneeling at the side of the bed to bring herself closer to the girl’s eye-line.

“Fine…” weariness imbued her voice, the tone betraying the words, “Just wish I knew what was going on, is all.”

A bony-fingered hand caressed her cheek, “Oh, child, I know. I think it is time to tell you what happened, if you are ready?”

Catra nodded, and she felt another pang of fear rush through her body from the sorceress’ touch. In the back of her mind there was a half-formed thought that she couldn’t quite grasp hold of, an innate reflex to recoil away, but she brushed it off. If Shadow Weaver were someone to be feared, she would not have saved her from this Adora, nor brought her back to the Fright Zone. This reaction, this anxiety, must have been a result of the horrors inflicted on her by Adora, and Catra was certain Shadow Weaver would understand.

“Very well. A few days ago, you and the squadron you lead were sent out on a reconnaissance mission to the Whispering Woods. It’s a hotbed of Rebellion activity, but you are one of my finest Force Captains, I fully believed in your ability to succeed. Truly, Catra, you have impressed me with your strategic intelligence and agility in battle since a young age – it’s why I promoted you so early on to become the youngest Force Captain in Horde history.

“But there was an ambush. The Princesses who lead the Rebellion are vicious instigators with little control over their powers, and rather than help create a better Etheria, they use those powers to try and strike us down. That night, they had used the cover of darkness to surround your squad – you couldn’t have known – and they launched an attack. Your team fled to safety, but you were captured by the worst of them all: Adora.”

The name jolted agony through Catra’s brain, an electric shock as though her own mind was trying to protect her from the memory. It was clearly a topic she wasn’t meant to think about, yet it wasn’t entirely fear that flooded her emotional response. There was a strange warmth, a confusing conflict of feeling which only erupted in more pain when Catra tried to probe her memory. Something deep inside her brain wasn’t going to let her focus on Adora – had her experience of this dangerous woman really been _that_ traumatic?

Shadow Weaver grasped Catra’s wrist as she saw the girl wince in pain, “It’s okay, Catra. She can’t hurt you now, you’re safe with me.”

The teen’s eyes stared into the floor next to the bed, widening as she rode the wave of agony taking over her head. Her hands balled into fists, claws digging slightly into the palms of her hands while the worst of it passed. Once she could focus on the room around her again, Catra gave Shadow Weaver a longing look, begging for respite, “I’m... I’m sorry. A... A... Ad... That person really hurt me, didn’t she?”

“I’m afraid so. When she took you, she intended to steal you away from the Horde – away from your friends and your home – by completely wiping your mind of all memories. If I hadn’t saved you, Catra, I...” her voice broke, a carefully calculated whimper of fake emotion coming out in place of her words.

“Thank you, Shadow Weaver.”

The sorceress’ mood shifted suddenly, turning from melancholy to upbeat in barely a second and her focus changing from Catra’s wellbeing to the Horde’s goals, “It looks like you’ll be ready to go back into the field soon. We have a mission that I need you for – I don’t trust anyone else to lead it.”

“A mission?” Catra already had a sense that she was being railroaded into getting back into the war before she was ready. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel capable of fighting again, she was physically fine; the worry came from the possibility of meeting Adora again at a time when she didn’t know the strategies to get the upper hand over this woman, nor her weaknesses. If she weren’t fully prepared, it could all happen again, and this time Shadow Weaver may not be there to rescue her.

“I can’t have my star protégé lying in bed all day, can I?” Shadow Weaver ruffled the girl’s messy hair like a mother reassuring a toddler that she would be watching them as they played on a climbing frame, “We’re going to take Plumeria for the Horde, and I need you leading the charge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time - we're going to Plumeria, and that means Perfuma will be making her appearance.


	15. Plumeria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a visit to the Kingdom of Plumeria, Glimmer gets to know Perfuma whilst Adora gets a shock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter approaches!

The Kingdom of Plumeria was widely considered to be the most beautiful place on Etheria. The power of King Willowheart and his daughter, Perfuma, to control plant life had seen them create a haven of vivid flowers, lush greenery and majestic trees that interwove with buildings. Walking through Plumeria was once said to be like taking a stroll through a forest where you were greeted by friends every few steps. But with the Horde having infused its poison into the planet, it had become harder and harder to maintain that level of vegetation, and despite the King’s best efforts, his kingdom was a pale imitation of what it once was.

Nevertheless, Willowheart was still highly renowned for his skills and Plumeria remained the place to go for the best flowers on the planet. It was the natural choice for Catra’s memorial, and Micah had volunteered to make the trip, taking Glimmer and Adora along for their first visit to the Kingdom. Though there was no desire in either of them to be sociable given recent events, he had hoped that Wilowheart’s daughter, Princess Perfuma, would be able to help them take their mind off the loss of Catra, even for a short time.

Upon arrival, however, Adora had remained steadfast that she was going to be fully involved in the choice of flowers. Micah thought better of trying to reason with her or sideline her, and had half-expected her to want to be there with him anyway. Glimmer, however, was less intent on the idea of thinking about flowers, and moreover having to think about Catra, and enquired about the Princess. At least spending a couple of hours with someone else would be a distraction. She was directed towards a small side room, where she was told Perfuma would be waiting for her. Pushing down the slight sliver of apprehension that was unavoidable when meeting new people, she pushed the door open and peered inside, finding a kid about her age inside sat at a desk, reading.

“Hey, they said the Princess would be in here. Where is she?”

The kid smiled, looking up at her with a freckled face that was framed with chin-length, wavy blonde hair, “I’m Perfuma. You’re Glimmer, right?”

She couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, “No, seriously, where’s the Princess? You her brother or something?”

“No, I _am_ Perfuma, I…” her gaze fell at the realisation that she would have to pre-empt the interrogation. She knew she wouldn’t have her current appearanace forever, but there was still a hint of sadness at having to explain herself, “I’m trans. That’s why I look like... this... right now.”

Glimmer’s eyes widened, “Oh… oh… oh my God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... sorry.”

“It’s alright,” the smile that beamed from her face seemed genuine, Glimmer’s awkward floundering playing a big part in putting her at ease, “Shall we start again? I’m Princess Perfuma.”

“Yeah, sorry again. Uh, I’m Princess Glimmer of Bright Moon, but you, uh, you knew that when I came in, right?”

Perfuma stood, walking around the desk towards her, and extended an arm out. Glimmer was about to shake her hand, but the moment she reached out to meet the other girl, she was wrapped in a tight hug. It was unexpected, so much so that she involuntarily let out a loud squeak, but not unwanted – she found herself reciprocating, the emotion of the past week manifesting itself in the sheer force she pulled this stranger in with. It didn’t matter to Glimmer that she didn’t know the girl, she just needed someone, _anyone_ , to comfort her. Perfuma just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

But Glimmer’s sense of protocol returned to her after a good thirty seconds of burying her face into Perfuma’s shoulder and trying to stop herself from crying. Realising the impression she may have just given to someone she had only just met, Glimmer sprang back and released the girl, almost pushing Perfuma backwards from the force with which she threw them apart.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, half-expecting to be met with an angry ‘what the hell were you doing?’ and ordered out of the room.

Perfuma, by contrast, met Glimmer’s timid glance with another understanding half-smile. It showed her that she needn’t be scared, and was almost disarming in its genuineness, “It’s okay, I heard about what happened. I... I’m sorry about Catra.”

“Yeah, well...” Glimmer shrugged. She’d been trying to put on a front around people since the news had broke, and pretending as though it didn’t feel like the world had been ripped from under her feet. It wasn’t quite denial, she knew that Catra was gone, but there was a lot of emotion that she had been forcing down, away from herself as much as anyone else. But here, in this extravagant room formed from tightly intertwined tree roots, with a Princess who she’d barely known five minutes, Glimmer felt at ease. It was as if Perfuma gave off an aura of safety, and that she didn’t have to keep up the pretence around her.

“It doesn’t feel real.”

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m a good listener.”

Glimmer found that incredibly easy to believe, finding herself more ready to open up about Catra with this girl than she had done at any time with her own family over the last week, “I’d like that.”

“Come sit down with me,” Perfuma’s hand began to glow with a faint green outline as she waved it towards the corner behind Glimmer. The roots that formed the wall mirrored the glow, and started to sprout anew into the room, soon blossoming into two large, pink flowers, “These should be more comfortable than standing.”

“Whoa...” Glimmer stood open-mouthed as Perfuma sank into the flower, “You did that? That’s amazing!”

A rush of pink infused the plant Princess’ cheeks in response to the compliment. She was still inexperienced at using her powers, and were she honest, she would have revealed that she was less than certain that she could bloom the flowers, “Oh, it was nothing. I’m sure you must have some great powers too, being the Princess of Bright Moon.”

“Well, do you count...” Glimmer disappeared into a shower of sparkles, reappearing inside the flower, which she found to be a lot more comfortable to sit on than she had expected, “...teleporting as a ‘great power?’”

“Wow! You’re amazing! I mean, uh, your powers are amazing...” Perfuma spluttered, the embarrassment adding to the blush on her cheeks, “I mean... we were going to talk about Catra, right?”

Catra’s name quickly brought Glimmer back to the harsh reality, the grin on her face fading rapidly. Though there was outward silence, her mind was filled with a rush of feelings and half-formed sentences as she tried to piece together the words to explain how she felt. She was sad, of course, but that word didn’t quite feel as though it even touched upon the sadness she was experiencing. Maybe there were no words – Glimmer had never lost anyone close to her before now, were you supposed to be completely devastated? Was she dishonouring Catra’s memory by not locking herself away in her room and crying like Adora had been? So much of this situation was new to her, and she had no-one to guide her through it.

“Has anyone in your family ever died?” she mumbled solemnly.

Perfuma glanced to the floor, “The Queen – my mum – died when I was seven. She’d been ill for a long time though, so I guess... I don’t know. It’s not the same, really.”

“No, it is, it is... I just... How did you do it? Like, get through it, I mean.”

“My dad,” she answered immediately, with a firmness in her words that told Glimmer how important it had been, “He was there for me all the time, even though he was going through the exact same. He used to come up and sit on the edge of my bed and tell me about how her spirit would always be with me, and everything I did in the future would have a little bit of her behind it. Guess he was right about that.”

“My mum’s been doing that with Adora. Not me though,” Glimmer sighed with a hint of frustration, beginning to realise the emotion she had masked even from herself, “I get that Catra and Adora have known each other since they were little, I do. But I knew her too, she was my best friend. So why is it that Adora gets all the attention? Why-”

Glimmer cut herself off, having realised how she must have sounded. She silently scolded herself – her friend had died, it wasn’t a competition for attention, and it was awful to hear herself say something like that. Perfuma’s opinion of her must have nosedived, too, and she’d only just made up for her awkward opening remarks. Forcing her eyes shut so that she wouldn’t have to look at what would certainly be a disgusted look on Perfuma’s face, Glimmer stood up, ready to leave.

The touch of a soft hand around her wrist pulled her back, “I understand.”

“No, I... I didn’t mean it like that,” she dared to open her eyes, finding Perfuma stood alongside her with the same calming smile that had gotten her to open up in the first place, “I just... Adora is...”

“I understand,” the other girl repeated, “It’s okay to feel a little jealous, even if you think you shouldn’t be. It’s just an emotion.”

Glimmer scoffed, a dry laugh coming from her mouth, “Yeah, well, it’s a crappy emotion I shouldn’t be having. I don’t want to be jealous of Adora, she’s like a sister to me, but it just makes me angry when my parents are focusing all their attention on her while I’m going through the same stuff. They haven’t spent half as much time talking to me about Catra than they have with Adora.”

“Then maybe I can make up for it? I mean... you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but maybe you’d feel better for it?”

“I think I would,” she said, the slightest smile touching her lips.

* * *

Across the palace, in a courtyard painted with flowers and blossoming trees, Adora and Micah were keenly looking at an endless parade of flowers whilst King Willowheart explained the meaning and significance of each variety. The King’s private garden was one of the few places in Plumeria that was still bursting with life and colour, thanks to his hard work in preventing the Horde’s poison from reaching into it, and it was here that he could demonstrate the full range of flowers he was able to create. Had it not been for the awfulness of the situation that had brought her here, Adora would have found walking around the garden more peaceful and relaxing than anything she could have done back in Bright Moon.

Adora had been thinking deeply about her flower choices for the memorial service ever since Angella had offered her the opportunity. It had been strangely calming trying to match colours to her memories, but ultimately nothing had felt right. For some time she had considered the idea of blue and yellow flowers as a reflection of Catra’s eyes, but seeing the sombre and muted welcome they had received from the Plumerians, it began to feel trite, like a joke that had long since lost its humour. There seemed to be no way that simple flowers could accurately portray how much Catra meant to her.

“How about these, Adora?” Micah nudged her arm, pointing towards some small, vivid pink flowers that were spilling over from their bed onto the concrete path.

She gave them the most cursory of glances and shrugged; the day had been difficult for her, and all she wanted now was to return to the safety of her bedroom and lock herself away again, “Yeah, they’re fine.”

“Ah, these would be good,” Willowheart broke into the conversation with warmth in his voice, “ _Floria Willisia,_ or the Forest Blush. These used to be common all over Plumeria, and were particularly common in the spring – they are symbols of a changing life, so are often used at major life events like this.”

“That sounds good, doesn’t it, Adora?” Micah prompted, “I think we should have some of these, what about you?”

“No,” she whispered, barely audible, even in the peace of the palace garden.

“Was that a yes? I couldn’t hear what you said. You want these?”

The day had already stretched the limits of Adora’s ability to cope. She had tried her best to stay patient, despite so much of her mind telling her that it was all entirely pointless, but what she saw as constant questions from Micah pushed her beyond her limit. An uncharacteristic growl of frustration escaped her mouth, “No! I said no!”

“Adora...”

“It doesn’t matter! None of this matters. Have these, have something else, have nothing... I really don’t care, it’s not going to bring her back,” Adora buried her head in her hands as anger gave way to sorrow, “She’s gone...”

Reticent about not considering how difficult the task would be on her, Micah pulled Adora into a tight embrace. It was the only way he could think to express his sorrow, not just his own loss, but that of Adora’s too. He understood she wasn’t angry at him – that much was evident in the way that she stayed in his arms, not pulling away with an irate growl.

“Adora, I know this is difficult for you. It’s- ” the King launched into some calm words of reassurance, but was cut short by the sound of a nearby explosion. Both he and Willowheart sprang into alertness, their attention taken in the direction where a plume of smoke was beginning to rise up beyond the castle walls.

Ordering Adora to take cover somewhere hidden, the two monarchs hastily ran off to take charge of the situation and ensure the safety of the Plumerians. But where the two men saw their responsibility to the people, Adora saw opportunity – the opportunity to be free from the hurt of losing her best friend; the opportunity to escape a life that had a Catra-shaped chasm everywhere she turned.

The chaos enveloping the village acted as the perfect cover for Adora; in their panic to flee, no-one noticed the quiet teenage girl heading towards the source of the explosions. As the screams of the Plumerians rang in the background, the dust settled to the ground, revealing a Horde tank flanked by two others. It pulled forward, coming to rest a few feet from a frozen Adora. She knew she should run – she should be terrified right now – but she stood firm in its path, her mind daring to reflect upon how a direct hit from the tank’s turret would feel in the seconds before it killed her.

She said nothing, but inside she was screaming for it to fire, willing the soldier inside to send her to wherever Catra was now.

Metal creaked as the hatch opened, an armour-clad soldier emerging from inside. With an athletic grace that made their movements seem to flow easily, they hopped to the floor, stun baton armed and raised inches from Adora’s chest. Despite the disorder that encircled them, the two figures stared each other down in an insulated silence. Adora could barely see through the visor of the soldier’s helmet, but even that was enough for her to realise who she was standing in front of.

“Catra...?”

The response was a warning thrust of the baton, slow enough for Adora to jump backwards out of its way, and a hissed threat, “Stay back!”

Heat flushed through Adora’s body, the product of both nervousness and confusion at having the girl she thought dead now inches away, threatening her with a weapon, “Catra, it’s me. It’s Adora.”

Catra’s arm reared back, the baton in hand, and she gasped in a breath that froze in her chest. Her hands shook, the intention to attack battling against some form of unconscious will that refused to let her hurt the Rebellion instigator before her. Was it one of the memories Adora had stolen from her in her previous attack? It didn’t feel like fear immobilising her, it was more a nebulous feeling of responsibility, of restraint. But Shadow Weaver had told her not to let herself get distracted, to focus on the mission and the mission alone, and Catra wasn’t the sort of person to let her down. Or at least, she assumed she wasn’t.

“Fire at will,” she whispered into her earpiece, resigned to her being unable to fight this Adora girl, “Kill them all.”

“ADORA!” Micah broke through the eruption of dust and hastily grabbed the girl’s arm, just in time to pull her away as the barrage of laser fire began once more. Adora was almost being dragged along behind him, her mind paralysing her with the shock of what she had just seen.

It was only once had pulled Adora into the small building the villagers had sheltered in that Micah’s anger broke through, “What the hell were you thinking Adora? You could have been killed!”

Though she would have liked to respond with a snappy retort about how she would preferred that, Adora found herself entirely unable to form any other words than the one whirling around her head, “C… Catra. Catra.”

“I saw, Adora. I saw,” clutching the girl close to him, his own shock manifesting in a wide-eyed stare into the distance, Micah tried to make sense of what he’d witnessed, “We’ll get her back, okay? I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Catra has a lot of questions.
> 
> Also I'm tempted to pop this on a short hiatus and work on something else. Although 75% of the reason it's taking me a month to do another chapter is work, the other 25% is about not really being sure what I want to do with the series and how I want to finish it. We'll see what happens


End file.
